the worst story ever told

So I fell asleep at the strip club and the bouncer nudged me.

“Can’t sleep here,” he said.

“Where can I sleep?”

“Out back.”

So I went to the back patio. I started taking a piss over the side. A stripper was out there on a smoke break.

“Whatchu packin there,” she asked.

“About 4 inches,” I said as I pulled out my .38 special. “It ain’t much but it does the trick.”

“Does it ever accidentally go off?”

“All the time baby.”

We shared a cigarette and a few drinks as we chatted it up. She was going to school to be a dentist.

“I’m not doing nothin when I get off work,” she said. “Wanna hang?”

“Luckily for you I live around the corner.”

She came over to my place. I made her a vodka martini. We went to the bedroom and I removed my shirt. Suddenly a man walked in with a baseball bat.

“Get out of my house,” the man yelled.

“Oh shit,” I said to her. “This isn’t my house!”

We quickly jumped out the window. When we were safely outside, I pulled up my pants.

“I’m still horny,” she said. “Let’s go to my place.”

“Sorry, but I already fired off that round.”

“But I didn’t hear your .38 go off.”

“Not my .38,” I replied. “I jizzed my pants.”


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