After I shot Archibald for his supposed “dereliction of duty”, he managed to survive. “Maybe we’ll just call it even,” the old butler said as he held his hand over the gushing shotgun wound. He placed his arm around my shoulder and I carried him back to the estate. Darla regained consciousness after being choked … Continue reading Meet William Shitz (part xii)- conclusion →
“Pull the trigger, Jim Grey,” William said as rain poured down his face. “That’s why you’re here, after all.” I stood frozen in an awe-inspired fear. The nude figure that stood before me transfigured into a dark angel. He was still man, but appeared to possess the powers of hell. I was unable to pull … Continue reading Meet William Shitz (part xi): tears in rain →
“I found him!” Allen Funt screamed through the torrential rain. It was our second day of hunting for the surprisingly evasive Mr. Shitz. The terrain in the sprawling forest proved to be formidable. Archibald, shotgun in hand, ran towards Allen’s screams. Darla and myself weren’t far behind. “Where is he?” Archibald asked as he approached. … Continue reading Meet William Shitz (part x) →
Square, circle, star, diamond, octagon, pentagon…goddamn I love this song: What? Is a grown ass man not allowed to like kid’s songs? My son and I jam to this all damn day. Just admit it: this tune SLAPS! Plus, I think we can all agree. Those dance moves… They’re pretty good.
“He’s close,” Archibald said as he dug his fingers into the soil. “How can you tell?” I asked. “There’s a steaming pile of bloody shit right there,” he replied. I looked to the right and lo and behold, right there a reeking pile of human poop. “It seems like you’ve done this many times before,” … Continue reading Meet bill shits (part ix) →
“Mr. Shitz is no stranger to wandering bare ass naked in the woods,” Archibald informed us, “this is no cause for alarm.” “He wanted Allen to kill him with a shotgun, Archie!” I said, “I think concern is warranted here.” Archibald put his hands up to his face and rubbed his bald head. “What difference … Continue reading Meet Williams shits (part viii) →
“The arctic fox spends its days burrowing underground and avoiding contact with its own kind,” Mr. Shitz explained while staring down the sights of his shotgun. “It’s a solitary animal, much like myself. When it dies, it dies alone.” Mr. Shitz pulled the trigger, unleashing the sound of hell. A helpless fox, only a few … Continue reading Meet William shits (part vii) →
“Don’t tell anyone that we fucked,” Darla said as she climbed naked out of bed. “I can’t think of anything more embarrassing than sleeping with the gardener.” “I understand,” I replied. “By the way,” she asked as she strapped on her brassiere, “how do you know my father has ass cancer?” I began to stutter. … Continue reading meet William Shitz (part vi) →
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.
Follow My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.