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beyond good n evil

Do people actually read Nietzsche or do they just quote him so that they appear smart? Look, I love ramblings of insane people as much as the next guy but just because some dude from the past said something doesn’t make it correct. Same thing with George Orwell. I legit never met anybody who read … Continue reading beyond good n evil

where everybody hates your face

“You have to leave,” the waitress whispered to me, “your life’s in danger.” “Don’t worry sweetheart,” I replied, “these nachos can’t do nothin to me that crippling diabetes hasn’t already done.” THE END

Older Sibling Syndrome

I love Eli Manning. Does he deserve to be in the Hall of Fame? Fuck no. But he’s the greatest in one specific area: he was clutch. And that’s the great thing about being the younger sibling. We may not be the most talented, hardest working, or even the better-looking (that’s definitely not true in … Continue reading Older Sibling Syndrome

survey SAYS!

Louis Anderson should have been more like Richard Dawson by hosting Family Feud drunk. It would have also been dope had he tried to kiss everybody. Not just the ladies. Everybody. Oh well At least he didn’t go out like Ray Combs did 😔 RIP

the art of choking

It’s everyone’s favorite time of the year: when America’s favorite bandwagon team, the Green Bay Packers, makes the playoffs and gets promptly bounced out by a lesser team. To celebrate this event, during the 49ers game, I decided to choke on viagra pills. I collapsed on the floor and my wife stuck her fingers down … Continue reading the art of choking

when will this curse end?

My heart can’t take it anymore… Norm McDonald, Betty White, Sidney Poitier, Bob Saget, Meat Loaf…. …now Louis Anderson. AKA, the greatest Family Feud host. 😔😔😔 This is punishment from the gods. They’ve cursed us. They’ve cursed us forever. We angered them because of one simple mistake:

damn 😔

And Jim Steinman died last year too! Why didn’t anybody tell me? Since I have nothing to write about, out of respect for Meat Loaf, I won’t be writing a post today. RIP

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