Are you anything like me? Too old? Too lazy? And too crotchety to pick up new interests and hobbies?
Well I have the perfect solution for you!
It’s not testosterone replacement therapy. Nor is it psychiatric therapy for clinical depression!
It’s buying ownership in a sports club on the other side of the planet!
For years, I told myself that I needed to get into European football, sometimes known as “soccer” in the United States. But who has the time to learn new rules, players, strategies? I don’t have time for that shit.
So I came up with a brilliant solution: I will buy ownership in Clyde FC, a Scottish football club outside of Glasgow!
Have I ever been to Scotland? Nope!
Can I point Glasgow out on a map? Also no.
But here’s the best part: You don’t have to have any geographical knowledge to be a part of sports history. All it takes is pulling out your wallet and forking over 80.00 USD to own a share of the club and becoming a part of the Bully Wee family. Think about it. Now that I have a stake in the club, I’m REQUIRED, by law, to be invested in its success by familiarizing myself with Scottish football culture.
It’s genius in many ways.
A few people from Motherwell FC were like, “invest in our club 😭😭😭”. But it’s too late. As a club owner, I’m fully invested in building Clyde FC into the finest club in Scottish sports and I will never, EVER, step foot across the River Clyde into Motherwell. Hell, I wouldn’t piss on your town if it was on fire.
So what are you? Stupid?
Buy your own share of Clyde FC and let’s build something together!