So maybe I get a lot of sideways looks when people learn I’m an LA Chargers fan. Some might call me crazy for investing in a fourth-tier Scottish football club. But I have my own practices to sports patronage. And these practices are perhaps totally antithetical to the American way.
They say that Americans abhor a loser. And it’s true. No one remembers a second place finalist (unless you’re the Atlanta Falcons for blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl). In the US, allegiance to the local team is never a given. You find Lakers, Cowboys, Packers, and now Knicks fans across the country despite never setting foot in those cities. They became followers because of one simple reason: they win. They win A LOT. And when they return to their losing ways, fans dip out and stow away their gear only to bring it out again when the hype machine comes back.
It’s cool if that’s how you follow sports teams. I just have no respect for it.
For I have one core belief: if one wants the true fan experience, they must endure the pain before the pleasure. I find it shameful, totally SHAMEFUL, to take part in a team’s success while ignoring the brunt of its failures. For me, sports fandom is supposed to be a rollercoaster. The full euphoria can only be felt from the suspense of climbing upwards from a deep depression and then free falling and repeating the process over and over again. And you’re not doing your part as a fan by only living in the glory of winning. The hard — and most rewarding— work is done during the losing years by continual support and raising expectations. That’s the only way to be a part of a team and not some Johnny-come-lately jackass.
So I have a challenge for all sports fans. It doesn’t matter if you’re an American football fan or European football fan. Or perhaps you’re a lover of Australian rugby or International cricket. Pick a middling or bottom-dwelling club. Think to yourself “I see something in you, kid”. And then support that team in any way you can, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Will they ever win the big one? Who fuckin knows. But if they do, boy oh boy! Winning will feel all the more sweeter. But more importantly you’ll have some goddamn integrity.
“So why didn’t you become a Browns fan?” you might ask.
Well for starters, everyone knows Cleveland is cursed. Which makes my admiration for Browns fans even stronger. But you have to ask yourself: which is worse? Perpetual mediocrity or perpetual shit? Personally, I found the former to be worse. With shit, your expectations are usually in the gutter. And because the bar is so low, it’s usually easier to hurdle it. With mediocrity however, it’s more common to catch a whiff of total victory only to have reality come and smack you in the face. It feels like eternal damnation. If I can’t be in heaven, I’d rather be in hell. But purgatory is a special kind of punishment.
And that’s why I’m a Chargers fan.
