Anaideia 24

I was the first to rush out of the van and I sprinted 80 or so yards past the dirt road and took position. Next up was Dale and he posted up slightly behind me to the right on the other side of the road. Vic soon followed and escorted Jim as quickly as possible to the far right flank.

“I’ll take point,” offered Old Jim.

“Don’t be stupid! I’m an experienced hunter! I’ll take point!” said Vic.

“I’m an old man,” said Jim. “I know Penelope better than anyone.”

With little time to argue, Vic reluctantly agreed and took his position on the far right. Jim proceeded to the front in the middle of the dirt road and we pushed forward. In actuality, we were all on point. Our diamond or rugged ‘S’ shaped formation was designed specifically so that if one of us was jeopardized then each position would have an open shot without having to adjust. This was our “net” to catch and kill Penelope.

At least that was the theory.

As we slowly pushed through the darkness and towards the pass, Dale shouted from the rear. “Hey Jim! How big of a bitch is Penelope?!” he asked.

Jim casually strolled forward and nonchalantly answered. “Oh, about seven to nine feet,” he said.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Dale responded. “I once banged a seven foot whore in Tajikistan. She had a big ol pair…”

“Keep your voice down Dale!” I ordered.

Vic shouted from the right flank “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “She knows we’re out here. She’s probably watching our every move.”

Despite this reasoning, we pushed forward silently. A few miles down the road we reached the pass. This was the pinch point. Our formation had little choice but to grow in tighter as the walls of a former river nearly engulfed us. It was as dark as dark could be. Not having laid eyes on the pass in daylight, I called out to Vic. “How high are the walls?” I shout.

“About 30 to 40 feet,” he said.

“Jim, how are your eyes?” I say.

“Good enough to see a gnats pecker,” he said.

“Keep your eyes open to the front,” I order. “Dale, you cover the rear. Vic and I will watch the top of the walls.”

In total darkness, all we could look out for was silhouettes against a night sky. As we penetrated deeper into the pass, it appeared our strategy was working. Despite the immense distance between the former Candyland tavern and the other side of the pass, the hours merely felt like minutes in a way that only the fear of death could provide. Sunup was nearing. The night skies were blueing and the opening of the pass was in sight.

“We made it!” Dale cheerfully declared.

This was the first time I had been on this side of the mountain range in over two months. The dirt road leading into the pass reappeared and gently sloped down into a small town in the faraway distance. We collectively breathed a sigh of relief as the morning sun illuminated the desert horizon.

“Unbelievable!” Vic shouted.

“I’ll be goddamned,” chimed in Dale. “Maybe there’s a god after all.”

Old Jim continued to lead the way forward to a small creek flowing down the slope. With the end in sight, the mood of the group shifted and we laid down our weapons. Vic knelt beside the creek to refill his canteen. When he topped it off, he stood up and did a panoramic view of his surroundings. “We should keep moving,” he said as he took a swig.

“I agree,” Dale said as he pissed a heavy stream into the creek.

“Don’t piss for too long,” Old Jim spoke. “Penelope might grab your pecker.”

“Nonsense,” said Vic. “Penelope is very territorial. She keeps a limited range. We almost certainly escaped her clutches. Besides she’s mostly nocturnal.” He then lifted his cattleman to wipe sweat from his brow. But without warning, a cool wind swept across the creek and a grayish blur latched itself onto Vic. The large creature pulled him to the ground and the two tussled with Penelope quickly gaining the upper hand. Painful grunting and piercing screeches filled the air as the rest of us scrambled to react. I emptied an entire Uzi clip into the ground as I struggled to gain aim and Dale pissed on himself then fell into the water. Only Jim maintained composure as he fired the Browning skillfully into Penelope’s hardened skin. But Vic seemingly fought futility as he was dwarfed by the enormous creature. Finally, blinded by a bloodied face, Vic resorted to his only proven method of defense against Penelope as he reached for his Bowie knife and plowed it into her neck and causing copious amount of yellowish blood to splatter on the ground. She loudly screeched before Dale climbed out of the water and fired his AK-47 indiscriminately into her direction. Penelope scampered away towards a nearby ridge as bullets flew.

“Welcome to earth WHORE!” Dale shouted thinking he saved the day.

But Vic was writhing on the ground and with Penelope well out of sight, I rush to his side. “Vic! Vic! Are you okay?” I screamed. I finally gained control of him and while he screamed in agony I noticed his right eyeball was pulled cleanly from its socket.

TO BE CONTINUED…