I’m in Bermuda, or Bahama’s, Key Largo, Montigo, or wherever.
If you need to reach me call me at (420)666-6969. If you need to email me do so at iremovedaribtosuckmyselfoff@tinydickpills.com. You should also Venmo me $42,731 to help with various legal costs associated with public indecency charges (I thought it was a nude beach. My bad ☹️)
If you want to see pictures of my tropical beach stay…complete with tasteful nudes of course…head on over to my Instagram.
K. Bye 😘
I was on vacation. Went to the beach and got pinched by a crab. Went to the zoo and got attacked by a lemur. Then went to the ATM and got robbed at gunpoint by a goddamn pelican!
Never going to Destin again.
Sorry, I’m just chillin in Eastern Europe making questionable business decisions.
I’ll prolly get back to writing soon.
That is if I don’t get cut up, stuffed into a suitcase, and get thrown into the Volga River. You know how it goes.
Anyways, Namaste 🙏
And send me $50,000 through Venmo plz
The Internet Ruined Everything 