I’m on vacay

I’m in Bermuda, or Bahama’s, Key Largo, Montigo, or wherever.

If you need to reach me call me at (420)666-6969. If you need to email me do so at iremovedaribtosuckmyselfoff@tinydickpills.com. You should also Venmo me $42,731 to help with various legal costs associated with public indecency charges (I thought it was a nude beach. My bad ☹️)

If you want to see pictures of my tropical beach stay…complete with tasteful nudes of course…head on over to my Instagram.

K. Bye 😘


I was on vacation. Went to the beach and got pinched by a crab. Went to the zoo and got attacked by a lemur. Then went to the ATM and got robbed at gunpoint by a goddamn pelican!

Never going to Destin again.