Tag: Tom Myers

Who are these assholes?

Look, I’m not above being a piece of shit. I’ve probably been a little too mean to someone on this site, in my writings, and probably in real life as well. And to anyone who I have offended, I’m sorry. I mean that. If I have ever made an obscene joke at someone else’s expense, that was not my intention. I assure you that the joke was entirely on me for making it. But sometimes that doesn’t come across well. I’m not a comic. I’m just some jackoff on the internet.

Fundamentally, I will never begrudge anyone who is making a living doing what they love. Particularly in the arts. It’s hard enough to be an artist nowadays so I salute anybody who makes it work. If I find a song, a book, or a podcast of bad quality, I shrug it off as being not for me and I move on.

With all that said, fuck the guys on Who Are These Podcasts?

Of course I’ve been following them for the Jerry Banfield saga which has made me assess my own feelings towards lolcows. My primary concern for Banfield is that he might be a danger to himself and others. While it might be impossible to not find humor in the situation, the reality is—insofar as we can glean from Youtube—Jerry is probably not in a good state of mind. Being in debt, divorced, poor love life, and going untreated for manic depression will do that to you. But Jerry has looked at the cards he was dealt and pressed forward using any opportunity he has—even if those opportunities are embarrassing or degrading. I can respect that to a large degree. And the more I look into his life, the more I find him less of a danger and more of a run of the mill manic depressive who uses woo woo logic to justify his actions. Also, much like Tom Myers, Banfield has not shied away from the attention. At the rate he’s going, he’ll probably outpace the Who Are These guys in subscribers and views before the end of the year.

And rightfully so. I’m rooting for him.

I first came across the Who Are These Podcasts? channel while digging up new material on Tom Myers. They of course brought him on to mock him but he held his ground. The hosts looked like assholes. While I can’t deny they had some good zingers, they were also tools for trying to lecture Myers on what comedy should be, as if comedy itself is an exact science. Tom would have had every right to tell them “I make a living doing what I want and that’s all that matters. Fuck off.”

At least that’s what I would have said.

And this isn’t the first time that they’ve tried to lecture others. Several years ago, they reviewed the greatest podcast ever farted out, Cumtown. They complained that the hosts didn’t introduce themselves. They said that Stav’s laugh was too annoying. They found the humor too juvenile and hackneyed. They just didn’t understand that the halfassed production of Cumtown was a part of its appeal. After catching wind of their review, Nick Mullen stated he understood why someone who followed the all the rules in their career would be annoyed and confused at his podcast’s success. And I think that gets to the heart of why I can’t stand these hosts.

I can’t deny that they’re funny. But I wouldn’t want to spend five minutes in a room with them. Like Mullen said, these guys sound like “they’ve been waiting for something to do since Blockbuster closed.” And how long has the podcast been around? Eight years? And they still have less than 50,000 followers and average about 10,000 views per video? It’s getting to the point where they might need to start taking Jerry Banfield’s advice.

I guess what annoys me most about the Who Are These Podcasts? podcast is it demonstrates a form of aggressive mediocrity. The whole premise is to shit on other podcasts. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to be a hater. But you have to find a unique angle. Sometimes you have to take the piss out of yourself. Whatever you might think of Tom Myers’ comedy, at least he’s a unique character that the comedy world discusses. The WATP guys just seem like run of the mill shitheads you’d find in high school. Sure they get to fuck all the girls, but you know what’s even cooler? Nick Mullen gets to fuck all the moms (AND dads).

Tom Myers Rises

Off the rip I’m gonna say that I am pro-Tom Myers. I’m not saying this ironically. I’m not saying this in jest.

Myers might only be familiar to Cumtown fans and the terminally online, so here’s a brief introduction. Tom came up through the Baltimore-area standup scene at roughly the same time as Nick Mullen, Stavros Halkias, and Adam Friedland. The latter three would go on to form the very successful Cumtown podcast. And while all its hosts are comedians, essentially the other two were there simply to provide a setup and a laugh track for Mullen’s irreverent, absurd, and borderline problematic riffs. It was a work of genius. Much of Mullen’s rants were about his time as a struggling comic. That’s when audiences the world over were introduced to the name Tom Myers and thereafter the internet was never the same. Google “bong hit transplant” to see what I mean. Mullen and Myers thought little of each other, both as comics and as people, and because of Mullen’s sizable influence, many sided with him.

But Myers did something interesting here. Had I been in his shoes, I would have balled up in my closet and cried forever. Instead, Tom talked his shit and endeared himself to many Cumtown fans. It was a true David and Goliath situation. Some might claim him as the honorary fourth mike of Cumtown. Others might say he is Mullen’s arch-nemesis within the podcast’s extended universe. Either way, Myers etched his name into internet history and much digital ink has been spilled over it since.

The common perception of Tom, or at least the one often repeated by comedic “experts”, is that he makes structurally sound jokes but with nonsensical punchlines. Some say he has the potential to be a good comedian, but due to his pig headedness, he refuses to listen to the advice from his peers. And others often wonder if Tom is actually “in on the joke” and he’s performing some form of “anti-comedy”, a la Andy Kauffman. The internet will have you believe that he is either the best or worst comic off all time. My personal view is that the truth probably falls somewhere in between.

I’m not gonna dissect Tom Myers’ standup. Some jabroni years ago wrote an in-depth analysis of it, and it was trashed by Myers, Mullen, and the Cumtown community as a whole. Standup comedy isn’t my cup of tea anyway, even when it’s performed by people I genuinely find funny. Only two comedians, in my view, were ever “good” at it: Eddie Murphy and sex-pervert Louis CK. So “Bong hit transplant” and “Make America Innate Again” aside, I have—hand to god—laughed as much at Tom Myers’ latest standup as I have the standup of Nick Mullen and Stavros Halkias. Their talents lie in sitting down and riffing. I think they know this. And their standup tries to capture that magic. It doesn’t work (for me). Myers, to his credit—intentional or not—is doing something interesting. Through the prism of Cumtown, he is an enigmatic figure. Is he a “shitty” comedian or does he merely play one? I’ll just say that if the cardinal rule of comedy is to have the joke be on you, Tom Myers is a pretty amazing comic.

Yet even without Cumtown, if I had run into Tom Myers’ standup at some pizzeria in Havre de Grace, would I be confused? Probably. Would I think that he sucked? Eh. I’ve thought that about even the best comics sometimes. But to call him the “worst comic of all time” would be hyperbolic. I can genuinely say that he’s funnier and more entertaining than Joe Rogan, for example, who might be the richest “comedian” on the planet. Which leads us to a problem within the comedy industry, or I guess any industry really: success and critical acclaim being a crapshoot.

The rich and famous rarely get to where they are at based on their talent, looks, and big dick. Some get there by birth. Others get there by unwittingly making the right choices and the right friends at the right time. The latter is the case of Nick Mullen. To the annoyance of Cumtown fans, there would be no Cumtown without the success of Chapo Trap House. Those were choices. Tom Myers didn’t have a choice. He was thrusted into internet infamy based on the haphazard whims of Mullen. And instead of scrubbing his digital presence like a pussy (as I would have done), he amped up the shit talk and continues to do so till this day. Where others would have cowered, he turned into an opportunity.

Tom Myers is a proud Marylander. He appears to serve his community. Insofar as I can tell, he makes enough money to make a living doing what he loves. I cannot, and never will, begrudge a man for this. The internet wanted me to hate him. But goddamnit, I only have respect for Tom Myers.