Diamonds r 4eva (part XI)

Perhaps you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but Diamonds Are Forever is one of the few movies where James Bond shags ONE woman only. It’s true. I’ve done the math. After years of research, I’ve concluded that Bond has bedded with absolute unambiguity 56 women across 25 films. This comes to exactly 2.24 women per film, meaning that DAF is well below the average. In fact, we don’t see these low of numbers again until Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. Did you know THAT? Yes, in CR, Bond only has coitus with Vesper. He came close with Solange, but if you recall, that attempt was cut short by a trip to Miami. And in QoS, Bond only sleeps with Strawberry Fields and NOT the female lead Camille. Again, Diamonds Are Forever was ahead of its time. People THINK that prior to Daniel Craig, Timothy Dalton was the first to only sleep with one woman in The Living Daylights in 1987 (as a way to put a cap on 007’s promiscuity in a response to the AIDS epidemic). But this is a false assumption: in TLD, Bond DEFINITELY has sex with a bikini-clad woman on a yacht in the cold open IN ADDITION to sleeping with Maryam d’Abo’s Kara, meaning that Bond slept with TWO women in TLD which puts that film only slightly below the average.

The numbers don’t lie, folks.

Yet it seems like Bond is just as promiscuous as we have come to expect in Diamonds Are Forever. Why is that?

I think it’s for a few reasons: 1) it’s clearly the 1970s, the most disgusting and shameless decade in human history. 2) Bond interacts with a total of four bikini-clad women throughout the film, two of which kick the shit out of him. 3) Plenty O’Toole. 4) Bond is shown rolling around and implied naked TWICE in bed with a woman.

On the first point, there’s something scummy about the 1970s that give the impression that Bond is out raw-dogging every woman he comes across in Las Vegas (and perhaps he is, but it’s never shown on film). On the second point, while I haven’t ran the numbers on the amount of bikini clad women per film (if I had to guess, YOLT blows this average out of the water), it seems like DAF is a bit above the average. Astute observers of the third point will recall that Bond doesn’t actually sleep with Plenty O’Toole. And on the final point, while showing Bond shirtless and in bed with a woman TWICE is actually slightly above average for a Bond film, in DAF, both times it is with Tiffany Case.

Now let me drop another truth bomb: since we’re at the point in the story where Bond links back up with Tiffany in Las Vegas, he is seen briefly holding his signature Walther PPK. It’s one of the few moments in DAF where he does so. And throughout the film, Bond NEVER kills someone by firing a bullet and, indeed, never fires a bullet at all. I will admit my research may be a little fuzzy, but I will assert that this is the only film where this occurs.

Don’t believe me? Let’s break down the numbers shall we. According to my estimation, James Bond kills 8 people in DAF. Their methods of death are as follows:

2 by drowning. 1 by repeated stabbing. 1 by thrown off balcony. 1 shot in the head by grappling hook. 1 by aquatic vehicle bodily trauma (presumably). 1 by fire. 1 by explosion.

Total: 8 deaths.

If you will note, one individual is shot in the head. HOWEVER, Bond does not do this using a traditional gun but a GRAPPLING gun. That’s a huge distinction. It should also be noted that Blofeld’s final death could be disputed. We don’t actually see him perish and if you recall the cold open to For Your Eyes Only, Blofeld reappears badly injured only to meet his actual death by falling into a smokestack (is FYEO the direct sequel to DAF? You be the judge). This would be James Bond’s actual death toll in DAF down to 7.

For as much flack as DAF receives, it could be argued that this is where James Bond is at his most humane.

TO BE CONTINUED…

License Renewed

With all the turmoil in the world, from tariffs to climate change; from war to fascism, there’s still one hero we can depend on. His name is Bond, James Bond.

Specifically Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond.

We all know by now that the Broccolis folded and handed over power to Jeff Bezos and the Amazon Empire. If Star Wars has taught us anything, we know that this will likely lead to disaster and total ruin for this once proud franchise.

I will go on record as saying that I don’t necessarily support Pierce Brosnan’s return to the role. Some fans have expressed the need for closure and that the Irish actor might’ve gotten a raw deal when his era came to a close. While I sympathize with this sentiment, I feel that this franchise, or any franchise really, needs to move forward and never look back if it wants to progress. But with this new regime, we know that bad decisions will be made. So with that said, if Amazon wants to bring Brosnan back for one more outing, here’s how it should go down:

License Renewed directed by Martin Campbell

Synopsis:

Xavier Rhodes (Peter Dinklage) has acquired an old Russian nuclear arsenal with plans to disrupt Chinese and US relations. But known only M16, this is actually a covert a plot to lure James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) out of retirement for revenge over a mission gone wrong 20 years earlier. Bond enlists the help of nuclear weapons expert Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) and Chinese agent Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) to foil the plot.

Yes, you read that right: I’m bringing Denise Richards BACK. And my reasoning is simple: the arc of the story is redemption. Her character and acting were heavily criticized in The World is Not Enough and it’s time she gets redeemed. Richards is 54 years old. She seems much more surly and no nonsense now and I pray to god that her acting skills has sharpened. To begin the story, I imagine Dr. Christmas Jones now a professor at some shitty college in the midwest and is tired of her students’ shit. Then James Bond re-enters her life and asks her “why didn’t you call?”. She responds sarcastically with “yeah, ‘I thought Christmas only comes once a year’ is definitely a line to win a girl’s heart.”

Christmas is the main Bond girl. At 70 years old, we don’t want 007 hitting on college aged girls, so we need to reintroduce established characters. Brosnan actually had a pretty strong run with Bond women which is why we need to see what became of Wai Lin. Yeoh’s resurgent popularity would appeal Amazon’s pocketbook so her return only seems natural. But it would come with the understanding that their fling in Tomorrow Never Dies was just that: a fling. The real romantic tension is between Bond and Christmas Jones as he drags her grumpy ass around the world before realizing that maybe she likes this old goofball.

As for James Bond himself, the present day story begins with the former agent enjoying retirement in the south of France. He’s tear-assing his Aston Martin DB5 through the hills in a callback to Goldeneye as he tries to woo some old fluzy. Unfortunately the woman realizes that Bond is too dangerous so she rejects his advances. Unbothered by this, Bond returns home to find his old M16 watch urging him to report to HQ. Believing this to be an error, he calls London where they tell him that the message is legitimate. He hangs up the phone and looks at his watch. “I’ll be damned. It still works,” he says.

He returns to London where he meets with Ralph Fiennes’ M. Also in the office is Samantha Bond as Miss Moneypenny where she informs 007 that she’s counting down the days to collect her pension. Meanwhile, Bond’s casual attire and Hawaiian shirt clashes with M’s stiff Brit style. M doesn’t believe that this current threat from Rhodes is of much concern so he wants it resolved as quickly and quietly as possible, which is why he’s assigning the weaselly 002 to accompany him. Bond visits with Q and he’s disappointed when he’s only issued practical gadgets. “Don’t I get an exploding pen?” he quips. Bond goes to America to collect Christmas Jones and they ditch 002’s ass somewhere in Asia and they pursue Rhodes on their own. The plot unfolds and is revealed to be much deeper than M had presumed.

If Amazon wants to make this movie, this needs to be a REAL James Bond movie, meaning we need the gun barrel, a cold open, a theme song, a mission, and an explosive final. As for the gun barrel, do you want a 70 year old man to roll out and shoot the screen? I’ll let you decide. But my solution is to just reuse Brosnan’s footage from the 90s and the cold open starts 20 years ago with a SLIGHTLY de-aged Brosnan running around and shooting people just like in the old days. This character also introduces us to Dinklage’s Xavier Rhodes and sets up the main plot.

After the heaviness of No Time to Die, it’s important to inject some levity back into the series. At the end of License Renewed, Bond doesn’t die. Rhodes is killed and 007 rides off into the sunset with Christmas Jones where they are once again caught making love. When they are finished, Jones looks at Bond and sternly tells him “don’t fucking say it!”

Credits roll.

JAMES BOND WILL RETURN

All good things…

Word has permeated the internet. The Alamo has fallen. The last legacy of long established IP is now under control of the Raiders of Silicon Valley. Jeff Bezos now owns James Bond. May his reign be short lived.

When word reached me, a wave of depression hovered over me like a darkened cloud. The internet knew what this meant; it was an end of an era. It was 25 films spread across 60 years. The Royal Family that was the Broccolis ruled over their fiefdom as benevolent rulers and providing their subjects with an undiluted product that influenced a multitude of generations in Hollywood.

Now it is over. It can only be assumed that the legions at Amazon are preparing for a new era in the 007 universe, complete with spin-offs, television shows, and cheap and unfettered reality entertainment. The mystique of James Bond will be tainted for a millennium and the joy of its spectacle will be cheapened and diminished. What is dead cannot return.

It has taken me awhile to assess my feelings on the matter. I’m not angry with Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson for selling out. As with any valuable property, it must be defended unrelentingly from cash-grab predators and opportunists. The ceaseless battle can and will take its toll. I can’t blame Broccoli and Wilson for taking the money and running. Any of us would have done the same under similar circumstances. Instead I see this as a changing of the guard from independent artistry to tech dominance of content creation.

Perhaps in a few generations the people will see this as “progress”. Amazon naturally does. But can we genuinely say that the quality of established IPs improved under this paradigm shift? Did it for Star Trek? Did it for Star Wars? There is little reason to believe that James Bond won’t face a similar fate as those two. But maybe we need to reckon with an uncomfortable truth: if we love something, we must let it go.

As Bond fans, we were blessed with 25 films. Though their quality varied, we love each of them on their own terms. I wouldn’t omit a single one from the canon. And these films are going nowhere. They will be embraced by cinephiles for generations to come. Additionally Broccoli and Wilson had the foresight to “kill off” James Bond in the final film under their tutelage. It was a controversial decision but one I always defended. Although I think this move was done as a way to give Daniel Craig a proper sendoff, in hindsight it gives us fans a sense of closure.

But in these times of mourning, perhaps we should seek a silver lining. The exact terms of the deal between the Broccolis and Amazon are unclear to me currently. With any luck, the Broccolis have been relegated to an advisory position. That might not mean much but it might give us hope for a shred of continuity. Yet this is admittedly wishful thinking. Though Amazon will posses the rights to the “gun barrel” sequence, Albert R. Broccoli’s Eon Productions, and the history of the character, the Jeff Bezos takeover is in effect a death to the old order.

However, the old must give way to the new. As much as we piss and moan over Hollywood retreads, there has been a landslide of new intellectual property over the last two decades from Harry Potter, Breaking Bad, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Game of Thrones, etc. Perhaps things never really die; they’re born into something new.

Comrade Bond

God save Barbara Broccoli, defender of James Bond, the franchise that started all franchises.

According to numerous reports, notably the Wall Street Journal, there’s a damn good reason why the next 007 film has not been announced: Barbara Broccoli thinks that the folks at Amazon Studios are “fucking idiots”. Amazon purchased MGM, who control the distribution rights for the James Bond franchise. In sum, Broccoli “doesn’t trust algorithm-centric Amazon with a character she helped to mythologize through big-screen storytelling and gut instinct.”

The official report from the WSJ is behind a paywall, but you can read about it here from Screencrush.com:

With the stranglehold that Big Tech has over our lives, our government, and our entertainment, I have to say that I am perfectly content with James Bond dying as he lived: by getting blown into smithereens by a missile strike in the Sea of Japan. If No Time To Die is his final appearance, so be it.

It’s not the way I’d want him to go considering that I’ve been obsessed with this goddamn franchise for 25 years. Without it, I’d know nothing of filmmaking and storytelling. But I’m a man of principle. And I’ll be damned if I let that real life Bond villain Jeff Bezos get his talons into this film legacy.

As of right now, there’s an Amazon workers strike in numerous locations around the US. In a sense, this means my Queen Barbara Broccoli, whom I swear allegiance to, and her brother Michael “G” Wilson stand in solidarity with those brave women and men. I know that the Broccoli’s are people of means. At face value, Barbara and Michael probably have more in common with Bezos than they have with you or me. Considering this, it’s likely that a deal can be struck at any moment. But I hold out hope. With this report, it reveals that Barbara and Michael have integrity; in standing up to Amazon, they carry on their father’s legacy.

I’m sure they’re contractually obligated to release their films through MGM via Amazon. I don’t know how one could get out of that without years of court battles. And even if they could, given the current state of the film industry, they’ll inevitably land a distribution deal with another Big Tech, “algorithmic-centered” firm. There’s no way to win.

But if they ever do get out from under the clutches of Amazon, then fuck it: let’s crowd source this shit! I’m telling ya Barbara, I’ll sell everything! And I mean EVERY goddamn thing if it means Eon Productions gets to maintain complete creative control of 007.

Diamonds r 4eva (part x)

I wish the bathtub scene was cut. It would have been far more effective had James Bond waltzed out of the funeral home announcing he would be at the hotel Tropicana, Mr. Slumber slamming the coffin cover closed, THEN cut to that glorious matte painting of the Whyte House elevated by John Barry’s bombastic score. That would have been amazing. Instead we’re saddled with a brief exposition scene of Bond explaining to Leiter that he needs the real diamonds. Something about this scene seems superfluous. It’s already established that the smuggled diamonds are fake and it would be obvious that the bad guys would be after the real ones. Were they trying to establish who had the real diamonds at this point of the story? Who gives a shit? That would have been established minutes later anyway in the Circus Circus sequence.

Nevertheless Bond visits the Whyte House, a fictional hotel and casino owned by Willard Whyte. He walks past the comedian who saved him from a fiery death and he’s giving a show. The comedian’s name is Shady Tree and he’s flanked on both sides by scantily clad women played by Cassandra Peterson (of Elvira fame) and Academy Award nominated actress Valerie Perrine. Also in attendance is Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. The jokes are godawful.

After the performance, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd visit Shady Tree in his dressing room and kill him (off screen). Afterwards, the casino manager Bert Saxby informs the two henchmen that they need to keep Shady Tree alive much to their chagrin. Bond ventures backstage to find the comedian’s lifeless body on the floor.

Unbothered by this, Bond decides to shoot some craps. The mumbling dealer objects to Bond raising the table limit and calls over Bert Saxby. 007 flashes an envelope from Morton Slumber’s Funeral Home, indicating that he’s the man with the real diamonds. Saxby agrees to raise the limit and a woman thrusts herself onto James Bond. Her name is Plenty O’Toole (“named after your father perhaps?”) and she’s played by Natalie Wood’s sister, Lana. The two naturally go back to his room for a boink fest (as the actors did in real life) but it is interrupted by the mobsters we met in LA. It is here where we’re exposed to the best double entendre in the entire series: a mostly naked Plenty steps away to the bathroom, Bond picks up her dress, flicks on a light and is greeted by a mobster with a gun. Bond responds with “It seems you caught me with more than my hands up.” Whatever Tom Mankiewicz got paid for this picture, it wasn’t enough.

Plenty, only in her underwear, gets dumped out a window and into a pool. Bond attacks a mobster but quickly realizes they’re not there to fight. They meekly retreat from the hotel room and Bond finds Tiffany Case in his bed. Naturally she’s there for the real diamonds, a fact she doesn’t deny, but to make it worth his while he begins undressing. I’ve said time and time again that while I immensely enjoy watching Daniel Craig’s ripped body, I wish that they would go back to the dad bod era of James Bond best exhibited here:

TO BE CONTINUED…

Diamonds r 4ev a: written commentary (part ix)

What happens next, Guy Hamilton calls a “snake pit” situation (or some shit like that): Bond finds himself in inescapable position and has to use his wits to get out of it. The most notable example of this is the “laser” situation in Goldfinger, also directed by Hamilton. I suppose that the “alligator jumping” sequence in Live And Let Die also counts. In Diamonds Are Forever, the snake pit situation is being burned alive in a coffin.

Arguably this is the most pants-shitting position anyone could find themselves in: after Bond deposits the diamonds in the mausoleum, he is knocked out cold and placed into a coffin to be incinerated. All things considered, Bond responds to this predicament fairly cooly. He doesn’t panic; his only move is an attempt to open the coffin. But right when you think it’s the end, Bond is rescued by Mr. Slumber and a pissed off comedian. “You dirty double-crossing limey fink!” the aged comedian yells, “your goddamn diamonds are phonies!”

Bond responds in the only sensible manner: “let me guess. You’re St. Peter?”

It’s a good exchange. To paraphrase Guy Hamilton, it’s a lovely bit of nonsense. But Bond gets out of this predicament by a switcheroo that wasn’t established to the audience: the diamonds that were shoved up Peter Franks’ ass were fake. We’re not told that until AFTER Bond escapes a fiery death. The more you think about it, it’s only by luck that Bond gets out of this alive, therefore making this the weakest of the “snake pit” situations directed by Guy Hamilton.

In the other two examples, Bond had to outthink his situation. In Goldfinger, he had to bluff. In Live And Let Die, 007 had to do one of the coolest stunts ever. In Diamonds Are Forever, it is by luck that Morton Slumber and the comedian discover that the diamonds are fake in time to stop the burning. Though he escaped by the skin of his teeth, Bond thinks on his feet: with thousands of dollars in his pocket, he knows they wouldn’t burn him up if the money was real. “Bring me the real money, I’ll bring you the real diamonds,” he tells them. Then he hops out of the coffin and strolls on over to Las Vegas.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Diamonds r 4eva: written commentary (part viii)

Tiffany Case and James Bond smuggle the body of Peter Franks, along with a literal assload of diamonds, into the United States via LAX. Bond is greeted at customs by none other than Felix Leiter.

Of all the actors to have played Felix, Norman Burton is among the least mentioned. This is a shame because he’s a good choice: he’s not built like an action star; he’s built like a normal schlubby guy doing his job. Burton plays him as a man who wants to do nothing more than go home and bitch to his wife about all the shit that the CIA puts him up to. That’s totally relatable. Say what you will about Guy Hamilton but the man knows how to cast movies.

But in this exchange between Bond and Leiter there comes the most controversial question of the film: who stuffed the fake diamonds into Peter Franks’ asshole? Tiffany Case or James Bond? This has been HOTLY debated for 53 years but the answer is obviously James Bond. Let me explain: Tiffany Case would have assumed they were smuggling REAL diamonds but, as it is revealed later, the diamonds extracted from Franks’ dead body were FAKE. Only James Bond, MI6, and the CIA could have known that. Ergo, James Bond shoved the diamonds into Franks’ rectum.

It really makes you think doesn’t it? Perhaps these are more thought provoking movies than people remember.

After Leiter’s inspection, the body is hauled away by three funeral home employees, who are clearly undercover mob guys, one of whom is played by Sid Haig (one of a few cult-favorite actors to appear in this film). Bond is convinced to ride in the front seat of the hearse all the way from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. So a few thoughts here: why? McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas is featured later in the movie. Why not fly directly there from Amsterdam? Did Amsterdam not have flights directly to Vegas in 1971? Would audiences have given a shit? As an American intimately familiar with the SoCal area, this has always bothered me.

So Bond and the mobsters arrive at Morton Slumber’s Funeral Home in Nevada. Mr. Slumber and Bond hilariously go through the motions of pretending to give a shit about the funeral process; Peter Franks’ body is burned up and in about two minutes the diamonds are retrieved from his colon and placed in an urn. Bond takes the urn into the mausoleum, retrieves some money, and is knocked out cold by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Diomonds r 4eva: written commentary (part vii)

The James Bond franchise is noted for its versatility in action set pieces. You have skiing, boat chases, car chases, parkour chases, fighter jets, and even space battles. But I’m a simple man. There’s nothing that I like to see more than two men pummel the shit out of each other.

The train fight in From Russia With Love is probably the greatest example. It’s not only one of the best fights in the franchise, it’s probably one of course most notable in film history. Above all else, James Bond needs to be a brawler. They got away from that in the post-Connery era. No disrespect to Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, and Pierce Brosnan but I’m pretty sure I’d stand a decent chance at beating their asses if it came down to it. The Broccolis thankfully reestablished Bond as a brute with Daniel Craig but there’s something about Sean Connery that I find raw. Watch any of the earlier films of the 60s. Connery portrays Bond as almost having a psychopathic need to throw down. That’s who James Bond is; he can’t feel alive unless certain death is knocking at his door.

Now I’m not saying that the elevator fight in Diamonds Are Forever is one of the best. It’s not even top 10. Actually it’s probably the worst in the franchise. But even the worst fight in a James Bond movie is better than the greatest orgasm. That’s a hill I’m willing to die on. But this is why the talent behind the camera is the best in the industry: they see an opportunity to do something cool (if not stupid) and run with it. Connery is what? 6’2 220? And the stuntman he’s fighting is at least that much. Then Guy Hamilton sees a 3×3 elevator and decides that’s where they’ll confront each other.

The “bad guy” (Peter Franks) is a total fucking idiot though. Think about it: you killed a guard, escaped prison, then went to Amsterdam. When you arrive at your destination, there’s another big ass dude (James Bond) that happens to show up. THEN you agree to get into a tiny elevator with him?! I get not wanting to look conspicuous BUT if I were Peter Franks, I would NOT let another big dude stand behind me under those conditions. But James Bond fucks up too. He probably should have chosen to choke Peter Franks out instead of winding up to punch him and breaking a glass pane. I mean goddamn, why am I not working for MI6?

Nevertheless a fight ensues, a bunch of glass breaks, a bullet is fired, and none of this gains the attention of residents EXCEPT for Tiffany Case. She stands hopelessly by while the fight spills out of the elevator and Bond defeats Franks with a fire extinguisher. Though Bond is victorious, he could have easily avoided this mess by, again, choking Franks out. No matter though. 007 does some quick thinking by exchanging Peter Franks’ wallet out with his and dragging the dead body into Tiffany Case’s apartment. When she checks the deceased for an ID, she gasps. “My god! You just killed James Bond!”

So, is James Bond famous? Kinda defeats the purpose of being a secret agent.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Diamonds r 4eva: written commentary (part vi, I think)

James Bond steals a tiny yellow car, flirts with Ms. Moneypenny, and is off to Amsterdam. We see a boat tour down the Amstel, a dead woman pulled from the river, and Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd cackling to themselves about sending pictures of the body to kids. The two henchmen walk away, James Bond drives past them and arrives at Tiffany Case’s house.

Jill St. John is controversial among Bond fans. Sure her character is a little uneven and she’s given odd dialogue. But as much as it pains me to say it, that’s Tom Mankiewicz’s fault. You can’t deny that St. John at least gives a performance. She’s picking up the slack where Connery is lacking.

BUT, with that said, even while Connery simply rolls out of bed and into his toupee, there’s no denying his charisma. As much as I love Roger Moore, there are times when I think “Sean could have delivered that line better.” And Bond’s first interaction with Tiffany Case highlights this point; She walks in and out of the room barely wearing anything, she’s confusing Bond with her constant wig changing, and she’s a total smartass. That’s a lot! Had Roger been in the scene, he would have raised an eyebrow, gawked at her, and looked like an absolute pervert. I would have never believed their chemistry. But Connery, in his detachment, plays it dumb and cool. He lets HER carry the scene. After Tiffany Case informs Bond that she’ll finish dressing, only Connery could have pulled off the line “oh please. Not on my account.”

Can you imagine if Roger said that? 🤢

What’s unfortunate about this scene is that very little of it carries into the film. Tiffany doesn’t become the strong female character she’s established to be and the wig changing plays an only a minor role later on. So the scene is confusing if not absurd. Then again so is the rest of the movie! But I think the biggest complaint is that many find Tiffany Case annoying.

I disagree wholeheartedly. The inconsistency in the character is ironed out by St. John. The strong face she puts on in her introduction immediately melts away once when bullets start flying. Where you find inconsistency, I find relatability. Where the screenwriters failed, St. John delivered nuance. So justice for Tiffany Case!

There’s an interesting scene after the Tiffany Case introduction when Bond returns to his hotel room and has a phone chat with Q. Bond commends him for the fake set of fingerprints and Q is flattered. I like little moments like this. The relationship between Q and Bond can sometimes be quarrelsome, particularly during the Connery era, but at the end of the day I like to think these guys like each other. But what’s confusing here is that Q kinda nonchalantly tells James Bond that the guy he’s impersonating has killed a guard, escaped prison, and is presumably on his way to Tiffany Case. I guess these things happen all the time at M16, but hell, even if I didn’t LIKE the guy, I’d still be a little urgent in a phone call to my coworker that a man is probably on his way to kill him! But that’s just one of the reasons why this film is so special: it’s explicitly telling you that we’re here to have fun.

This point is driven home in the following action sequence…

TO BE CONTINUED

Diamonds r 4eva: written commentary (part v)

Guy Hamilton cut his teeth as an assistant to legendary directors like Carol Reed and John Huston. The commentary tracks on all Hamilton-helmed Bond pictures remind audiences that he was a stand in for Orson Welles in The Third Man. In the 1950s, Hamilton was elevated to director where he made nine films before being offered the job in 1961 for Dr. No. He turned it down and producers instead went with Terence Young. However, when Young stepped away from the franchise after From Russia With Love, Hamilton came in for Goldfinger (1964). The third James Bond film is often cited for establishing the template for subsequent films in the franchise, to which Hamilton is frequently credited for. After George Lazenby left the role after one picture, Connery returned and producers felt like they needed to re-establish the Goldfinger tone. Enter Hamilton for Diamonds Are Forever.

I’d like to take a moment to praise Terence Young. While there’s the James Bond of the Ian Fleming novels, there’s also the James Bond of the movies. The difference between the two (if we don’t count Sean Connery) is Terence Young. Before being cast in the role, Connery was just a Scottish roughneck actor. Young shaped him, and thus James Bond, into the character we’ve come to love. And James Bond is very much the focus of the action in the first two films, particularly Dr. No. This is what made Red Grant such a formidable opponent in From Russia With Love, because he was essentially James Bond’s equal. Their confrontation, the train fight towards the end, is cited as one of the hallmarks of the series. Young really knew how to build up this character. While the Young-directed films are very much post-war male fantasies, he still manages to ground the picture thus making them feel raw.

Guy Hamilton changes that in Goldfinger. Hamilton’s conception of the character is essentially that of a comic book hero. This is where we see the introduction of over the top gadgets, cartoonish villains, and (let’s be honest) blatant misogynistic attitudes towards women. This is the point in the franchise where the series recognizes itself as a cultural phenomenon. It was an overwhelming success but for whatever reasons Hamilton didn’t return until DAF.

Connery’s biggest complaint for Goldfinger was that Bond was always one step behind the villain, which is a valid criticism. This is remedied in DAF thanks to Mankiewicz’s script and Hamilton mostly sidelines the misogyny, though not entirely (it will make a BIG comeback in Live and Let Die and The Man With The Golden Gun), but the plot still remains over the top.

And this takes us to Tiffany Case in Amsterdam…

TO BE CONTINUED…