MySpace

It was 2006.

The US was stuck in a military quagmire. Justin Timberlake was bringing sexy back. Cialis was popping off. And I was spending half my waking hours talking to chicks on MySpace.

Times were good.

But then came September.

The Crocodile Hunter unexpectedly gets got by a sting ray. And three weeks later Facebook opens its registration to anyone and everyone. Little did we know that it was the beginning of the end for the internet. It was the second worst September in human history.

To say that Facebook’s impact on the internet has been a catastrophe would be an understatement. And the sad thing is that it just didn’t have to be. No one in their right mind, then or now, could say that Mark Zuckerberg’s platform was the superior product. In hindsight, Myspace’s collapse is the great enigma of our time.

But 20 years later, MySpace is attempting a triumphant comeback. I tried to register today but I only ended up crashing my browser. So some things never change. And I hope they never do. Yet this poses a difficult question: can the wheel of time be turned back?

The age of social media might be dying. Should it be saved?

Under normal circumstances, my answer to both questions would be no. But we live in a strange nexus. The pushback against AI and social media algorithms has been far more successful than what I could have anticipated. It has made me wonder: can we turn back time on the internet? Is this where the people set their foot down and reclaim the worldwide web?

Could MySpace renaissance be the harbinger of this new era?

Probably not. But I’m still all in on MySpace. At the very least, we have to right the wrongs of the past and make the internet cool again.

Fake news

Apparently the image I posted above is FALSE according to the great minds of Facebook and Instagram smh

Allegedly, the couple isn’t fucking. They’re “faith healing”.

Since I’ve been firing blanks for the last 50 years, I was curious if this method of conception actually worked. But Facebook and Instagram are too afraid of me asking questions.

I guess freedom of speech is under attack folks. There’s no other way of putting it.

“😭😭😭it’s false information!!!! 😭😭😭” you might say.

There’s no such thing!

Everything you read should be treated as TRUTH until proven otherwise. ESPECIALLY on the internet!!!

THAT’S how free speech works! And I’m DAMN sure not gonna let Mark Zuckerberg, who definitely fact checked this personally, tell me what is FALSE…especially on a platform that I interact with by choice!!!

😡😡😡

facebook (update)

(Update: I’m 119 years old and I don’t understand technology. It doesn’t help that I lost the use of my left side brain at the Battle of Verdun. So forget all of this. It never happened. But I’m leaving this up because some of it is funny. I dunno. Then again I’ve been off my anticonvulsant meds the last few days)

So I was watching The Beastmaster when the Tanya Roberts bathing scene came on. I was about to “master” another “beast” if you know what I mean 😉😉😉 (Rip Torn gets me hot), but then I thought “I should create a Facebook page for my website!”

First, I tried setting up a business page, but Facebook forbids that with WordPress sites or some crap (or I have to buy some add-on, but I ain’t paying for that shit) so I set up a group page instead.

Here’s the link:

(not available)

“Why Facebook?” a question you’re probably not asking.

Because it’s the only social media site that doesn’t make me want to hire a hit man to set me on fire.

So come join! If you don’t then you probably have a tiny penis anyway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying that you’re less of a man if you don’t join my group.

So if you want to regain your self-respect, you better join the Internet Ruined Everything group and meet other weirdos just like YOU.