While the officers satisfactorily adjusted their pants due to their successful murder of an unarmed man, Asmodeus sprung up from the ground and leapt onto a police bike and peddled as fast as his two feet would let him go. The two officers looked at one another. Hey, one shouted. We’re all out of bullets! We can’t kill you!
But on and on he peddled. One officer dropped a planted gun onto the dead man and then reached for his taser. He aimed it and the prongs shot out at Asmodeus and attached themselves. Though it had the power of a hundred volts, it was no match for his resolve. The officers quietly cursed and proceeded towards the remaining bike. One got on the seat and the other held on while standing on the rear pegs and they sped off in hot pursuit. They called out to Asmodeus.
Sir, they said, you forgot your mule! Leaving your animals unattended in a public park is a $50 fine!
Asmodeus reached for his Smith & Wesson and fired a round behind him. But the quick thinking cop skillfully dodged the bullet by flipping into a wheelie and then leaping airborne over a speed bump and making several 360 degree turns before landing on both tires. He tried to fire again but it was too late. Both officers were clinging to his ass and were swiftly gaining. While riding next to each other, the peddling officer tried to jam Asmodeus’ front tire with his baton but he kicked the officer’s hand and the baton flew into the air. Asmodeus grabbed it and swung at his pursuers but the cop on the back pegs leapt off the bike and onto his. The men tussled, going punch for punch, before Asmodeus looked up and saw an oncoming semi. He leapt off the front of his bike and onto the rear of his pursuer’s. The other bike careened towards the semi with the helpless officer still onboard. Ahhahahahhahhahahahahha! the cop screamed before plunging into the front of a Peterbilt. It exploded into a brilliant fireball.
Upon seeing this, his partner yelled. You son of a bitch! he said. But Asmodeus placed the officer into a rear naked chokehold and held him for several seconds. When he lost consciousness, Asmodeus tossed his body off the seat and on into oncoming traffic. Tires squealed. When he regained control of the bicycle he attempted to slow it yet the brakes were shot. So while moving at an unholy speed of 25mph, Asmodeus looked for options. And then he saw it. There was an open topped trash truck a quarter mile ahead. Off to the right was a group of Amish gathering around a wooden ramp. Asmodeus peddled harder and blew right past the befuddled Amish and up the ramp and flew roughly 30 yards into the trash truck with the garbage of shit and medical waste cushioning his fall.
Narrowly avoiding the used epidural needles, he sat up and beamed. I’m alive! he declared.
Yet I opened the rear window and called upon him. Not so fast bucko! said I. I have you right where I want you!
TO BE CONTINUED…