Hello. I see you scrolling by.
Why don’t you have a seat right there.
You’re free to scroll to the next blog if you wish. But there’s something you should know. I’m Chris Hansen played by Robert Pattinson in Primetime and we’re doing a story on adults who haven’t purchased Stories No One Should Read online.
How old are you?
Would you like to try that again?
I know you’re 56 years old. You work at Taco Bell, thrice divorced, and are suffering from crippling diabetes. You have no retirement savings and no future worth mentioning. This is a book written specifically for people like you. So why haven’t you bought Stories No One Should Read on Kindle for $2.99?
There’s buying it and not buying it and you haven’t bought it. For that, you only have yourself to blame.
No decisions have been made yet. We don’t know which segments will air. But I’m gonna have to ask you to leave and go to Amazon or Dead Star Press to buy your copy today.
Stories No One Should Read by Beau Montana
The official ©️ book of A24’s Primetime. In theaters September 25th
Neither A24 nor anyone associated with Lance Oppenheimer’s Primetime is connected to the release of this book. The author, identified as “Beau Montana”, is mentally unwell, has a small penis, and functionally illiterate. His legal team pleads with A24 to keep that in mind before pursuing legal action.