To Sire, With Love (Part X)

“Wake up!” Larry shouted. “You can’t give in that easily! Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Seize the moment!”

I sat up in bed and watched Larry shove whole rolls of tissue into the toilet. “I’m about to leave for New Orleans,” he explained as he started flushing. “I’m not gonna leave here on such a sour note.”

While watching water gush onto the floor, Larry stood there with hands on his hips ready to make one final statement. “I hope I taught you two things,” he said. “One, don’t let a good thing pass you by. And two,” he declared with a pause, “Cialis is one hell of a drug.”

We exchanged a final glance. “Goodbye Larry,” I answered. “I can’t thank you enough. I hope our paths cross again.”

Larry nodded in return. He picked up his bags and exited the room.

Toilet water began flooding the dorm. I pulled out the Cialis pill. Moments later, Sam rushed into the room, plunger in hand. “Goddamnit Donny!” she screamed. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Sam,” I proudly said, “I may be a no good hobo with a dead ass dick. I may also be a moron and a belligerent alcoholic and I’ll probably drop dead from cirrhosis of the liver at any moment. But I know one thing: I’m madly in love with you. I’m ready to pop this boner pill and unleash a lifetime of semen into you so that we may sire a child.”

TO BE CONTINUED…