Merry Christmas, Mr. Lorenz (Part III)

“Fuck your Philly cheesesteak!” Bill yelled to Junior. The guard was delivering Bill’s dinner directly to his cell. But the prisoner took the plate and dumped the contents down the toilet.

“Goddamnit Bill,” Junior said, “what’s your problem?”

“As a political prisoner, I’m going on a hunger strike!” Bill replied.

“But you requested the Philly cheesesteak for fuck’s sake! What more can we do to make you happy?!”

“Nothing! My sole aim is to agitate.”

Junior shook his head. “Look,” he said, “if you go on a hunger strike, we’ll just sedate you and feed you through a tube. Furthermore, I’m not here to hurt you. I’m not your enemy. Dr. Effington is not your enemy. No one here is your enemy. We’re all here to help.”

“Help with what?” Bill asked, “to transition me into a society I abhor?”

“Fine!” Junior replied, “stay here for the rest of your life! But please do me a favor: don’t make things difficult for me. We’ve gotten along in the past and I consider you my friend. Don’t turn me into an agent of your persecution complex.”

“But you are persecuting me,” Bill said, “you sold out to this new order. You are my enemy.”

“Whatever,” Junior said as he stormed away, “I can’t deal with you when you’re like this.”

But a little after midnight, Bill was tossing and turning in his bunk when Junior entered his cell. “Get dressed,” he ordered, “Dr. Effington wants to begin a new treatment.”

“She wants to start now?” Bill asked.

“Yes. It’s tailored specifically for you. Relax, no drugs are involved.”

Bill jumped out of bed and put on his standard prison jumpsuit. Junior and two other guards escorted him to Dr. Effington’s office where he was greeted by a nurse at the reception desk. “I’m just going to check your vitals, Mr. Lorenz,” the nurse said. After taking his blood pressure and temperature, she sat him down for questioning.

“Have you been depressed in the last week?” the nurse asked.

“Well I am incarcerated,” Bill replied, “that doesn’t exactly make me happy.”

“Do you experience any sexual problems? Are you able to achieve an erection?”

The question took him off guard. “Uhh, well, ummm…I am 47 years old. Maybe I don’t have the stamina I once did but…”

“Will you require the use of a stimulant to achieve an erection?”

He began to blush. “I’m, I’m not sure what this has to do with…”

“Just answer the question, please.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Do you have any heart conditions that you would like to discuss that you haven’t previously disclosed?”


The nurse then unzipped his jumpsuit and attached a device that stuck to his bare chest. “We will be monitoring your heart rate,” the nurse explained, “but be warned: this device will also shock you if you get too close to Dr. Effington. Understand?”

Bill nodded. He was too petrified and confused to say anything.

“Alright, Dr. Effington will meet you in her office,” the nurse explained, “please step inside.”

Bill stepped into Dr. Effington’s office, as he had done dozens of times before, and the nurse shut the door behind him. He sat down in the same comfy chair that had always been there.

Nearly 10 minutes later, Dr. Effington stepped into the room. She was dressed a little differently, wearing only a long light blue coat that went well past her knees. “Doctor,” Bill said, “what is going on here?”

The Doctor pulled out her chair from behind her desk and placed it less than five feet from Bill. “This will all make sense in time, Mr. Lorenz,” she said, “now please relax and answer a few questions. First, do you find me attractive?”

Bill wiggled in his seat. “Uhh, yeah. Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Second: do you trust me?”

“I uhh, I don’t know if I have any other choice, Dr. Effington.”

“Fair enough, Mr. Lorenz. Now please, don’t be alarmed. I’m about to remove my coat, and underneath I am completely nude. Do not be ashamed to look at me or my body but please answer every question I ask. If you feel the need to undress yourself or masturbate, you are encouraged to do so. But you may not touch me under any circumstance. Am I understood?”

Bill sat deathly silent but Dr. Effington took that as an implicit ‘yes’.

“Alright, let’s begin,” she said. The Doctor removed her glasses, let down her hair, then unbuttoned her coat…


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