occupational burnout

They say that rewriting is the actual art of writing.

Thank god I’m not a real writer.

Writing is homework. I’ve never liked homework. I enjoy the immediacy of art, the spontaneity. Unfortunately writing is the only medium I can do.

Let me be real for a sec: I’m suffering from burnout. Not just from this blog, but from things in general.

Life’s too short. We can’t spend our entire lives looking at a screen. But we’re headed in that direction.

Rarely do we stop and think how amazing it is that we can experience anything. Consciousness is an extraordinary phenomenon.

I watch my son experience the world for the first time. I’m envious. It’s beautiful to watch. He appreciates life far more than I do.

Children understand something that we don’t. They aren’t burdened with the baggage of cynicism and jadedness that life hands us. They see the world for the miracle that it is.

It sounds naive, but we need to see the world as a child does: it’s beautiful, it’s sublime. Words are merely an approximation of what can be described.

Why waste this brief time being a cog?

Why waste it on hate and loathing?

This is just pointless meandering on my part. I’m just a day dreamer. Not a writer. Not anybody important.

I just need a break.

Maybe I’ll be back tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll never come back here. 🤷‍♂️

But thank you for reading. 🙏

3 thoughts on “occupational burnout

  1. You’ve perfectly described my current emotional state. I’ve been blogging for six years now, and have experienced increasingly frequent bouts of burnout and depression that make it all but impossible to write. This is compounded by the fact that I really do not enjoy writing very much! I started my blog at the suggestion of a friend, as a way to express my love of music, but somehow quickly gained a reputation as a music reviewer. Consequently, I’m now bombarded with tons of submissions and requests for reviews from artists, bands, labels and PR reps, and it stresses the hell out of me. This started out as a hobby, but now feels like an unpaid job that often makes me miserable. I’ve got to find ways to deal with this more sanely and effectively.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well for what it’s worth, I think you do an excellent job. You’re doing the Lord’s work 🙏. But I get it. It’s one thing to do what you love, but it’s another thing to do what you love AND be good and successful at it. With success comes a strange existential dread. I know that there’s always that voice inside that says “you can walk away from this,” but it’s not always that easy. I hope you find that balance, because yeah, I definitely would not want this to be my job 😕

      Liked by 1 person

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