Ranking the 50 States (the average/underrated states)

Like I said, there’s something that I hate about every US State. Really, they need to be done away with altogether. But the states on this list are alright, for the most part.

29. South Carolina

There’s a religious-like devotion to this state that I don’t understand. But, to be fair, if you can ignore the outright bigotry and hatred, you might find a pretty decent vacation spot that features a little bit of everything.

28. Wisconsin

If you are a full functioning alcoholic, I hear that Milwaukee is the town for you. And all Wisconsin residents swear up and down that something called “the dells” is pretty nice. Unfortunately, this state contains what we call “Green Bay Packers” fans, and that knocks it down a few pegs.

27. Oklahoma

People talk shit about Tulsa, but I’ve always had a good time there. Oklahoma City is nice. There’s a number of casinos (half of which I’ve been kicked out of). Outside of that, it is kind of a boring state. Except during tornado season. Gotta watch out for those.

26. Washington

“How fucking dare you not put us in the top 10!” Washington residents are thinking. But no! How fucking dare YOU, Washington residents! You guys lie to everyone about how beautiful and how many things there are to do in your state! But outside of the Seattle region…which is admittedly pretty cool…your state is BORING! And it’s about time someone said something!

25. Nebraska

“You’re ranking Nebraska above Washington?” you might be thinking. Yes. Nebraska is also a notoriously boring state, but at least the residents can admit that. Plus Lincoln is a pretty good college town.

24. Iowa

To be honest, I’m my mind, I think of Iowa as only a slightly better version of Nebraska. Sorry.

23. Montana

There’s some national parks, mountains, whatnot and whathaveyou. All of it beautiful. That’s enough to put it in the upper echelon. But outside of the land and some of its history, it’s actually kinda boring.

22. Kansas

“You’re putting Kansas above Washington and Montana?”…yes. Yes I am. Kansas is America’s bread basket. Plus, Kansas City, although mostly in Missouri, is a great fucking town and I’ll gladly give Kansas some of the credit. And a lot of you have been sleeping on Wichita. Shame…shame on all of you for not recognizing this sooner.

21. Indiana

Oh shit, I forgot about Indiana. Sorry Hoosiers, I overrated you guys.

20. West Virginia

Sure, you can’t throw a rock in West Virginia without hitting a meth lab. But make no mistake, this is a REAL ASS place. It ain’t for the weak. And I can respect that.

RIP Big XII

Fuck podcasts.

One of the worst things about the internet are podcasts. They just remind me that most people in the world are boring.

Hell, I’M boring.

But instead of bothering you with my terrible voice, I’m going to bother you with my mediocre writing. Because I want to restore to the internet the glory that was once blogging.

I mean, blogging is pretty lame too, but at least it’s not podcasting. Shit.

Not only has the internet ruined everything, but so has Disney. They not only ruined Star Wars and movies in general, but now they are ruining the sacred sport of college football.

Texas and Oklahoma are jumping the sinking ship of what is simultaneously the worst conference in the Power 5 and the most exciting, the Big 12, for the far more lucrative SEC. I mean, on its surface, this sounds great!

But it’s terrible. So…so terrible.

In case you haven’t heard, Bob Bowlsby, the Big 12 commissioner, has accused ESPN…a subsidiary of Disney…of pulling the strings behind the Texas and OU move and the subsequent dissolution of his league. Can he prove it? Who knows?

Will it matter?

Almost certainly not.

The Big 12’s days are numbered. The SEC will only increase its dominance over the sport, and Disney will reign in the profits because ESPN owns the SEC network.

And why stop with Texas and OU? Florida State and Clemson make plenty of sense in the SEC as well. You know who else does? Duke and North Carolina.

So a warning to the ACC: you better add West Virginia and Notre Dame (if you can). Because Disney is coming after you next. B10 and PAC-12 don’t seem to give a shit about any of this (it appears they actually care about academics).

Why should anyone give a shit about any of this? Aren’t college sports kinda a joke anyway?

Yes. Yes they are.

I mean, it’s just kinda amazing that Disney has been able to dissolve the distinction between jock and nerd…then subsequently piss both off.