What women want

Folks, I’m just not convinced that AI is there yet. I mean, it’s close. But it’s still got a long way to go.

I asked ChatGPT a simple question:

“Can you write a story in the style of Werner Herzog where Mel Gibson makes a career change into daytime talk show host and falls in love with Helen Hunt? The conflict of the story arises when Bill Paxton, with the help of voodoo, comes back to life and proclaims his love for Hunt due to the time they spent together while filming Twister?”

And this is what it spat back:

“In the unforgiving abyss of Hollywood’s relentless pursuit of dreams, Mel Gibson, a man scarred by the tumultuous storms of his own making, stumbled into the bizarre domain of daytime talk shows. Here, under the harsh studio lights, he sought solace in the company of Helen Hunt, a fragile oasis in the arid desert of fame.

In this surreal landscape, their scripted dialogues became a mere façade, concealing a silent dance of longing and connection. But as the fragile tendrils of their intimacy began to take root, a specter from the past emerged, defying the laws of mortality.

Bill Paxton, thought to be lost to the annals of time, returned with an eerie vitality, guided by the obscure forces of voodoo. In a haunting proclamation, Paxton declared an undying love for Hunt, fueled by the tempestuous days spent together in the midst of twisters during the filming of Twister.

The studio, once a haven for contrived laughter, transformed into a battleground of ethereal forces and human emotions. Under Herzog’s lens, the tale unfolded as a surreal expedition into the wilderness of desire and spectral resurrections. Gibson found himself ensnared in a cosmic dilemma, torn between the echoes of his own transgressions and the enigmatic forces that dictated the affairs of the heart.

The narrative echoed Herzog’s signature exploration of the human condition, a stark voyage into the fragile tapestry of connections woven against the harsh backdrop of Hollywood’s existential uncertainties. As the characters grappled with the unfathomable, the question lingered: could Gibson navigate the tumultuous currents of love and redemption, or would he remain a captive of the spectral winds that carried the echoes of a tumultuous past?”

It’s good, but I wanted a little more. Ya know?

I forgot how to write

I’m barely literate enough as it is so I’m gonna take it easy for today by pulling a Hollywood move and let AI write for me. By the way, perhaps we still need screenwriters, but do we really need commercial writers?

Let’s ponder this question while we read a pitch for toilets by Werner Herzog:

woyzek and ninth configuration

I swear that I don’t plan what movies I’m gonna watch. I sit on my ass and scroll through some app on my smart TV and find random shit.

Oddly enough, the two movies I watched back to back were Werner Herzog’s Woyzeck and William Peter Blatty’s The Ninth Configuration. Both films are about military personnel dealing with insanity and philosophy….not subjects that you find in most films.

This is probably not one of Herzog’s more appreciated films and I wasn’t entirely certain what to make of it. If you watch it, it probably wouldn’t come as a surprise to you that it was shot in 18 days. For a period piece, it’s very small scale and stage-like. But knowing this might help on a second viewing.

Klaus Kinski plays the titular character Woyzeck. He’s a lowly soldier that’s essentially being gaslit by his commanding officer and a quack doctor. He’s a loving father and husband, but his wife sleeps around with another officer and that officer publicly humiliates Woyzeck. Finally, he murders his wife.

Other reviewers called this an “anti-Enlightenment” film. I think that’s apt. The two men egging on Woyzeck’s decent into madness are obsessed with science and philosophy. The officer even mocks Woyzeck, stating that he lacks “morals” due to his status in society. Woyzeck defends himself, claiming that as a man without money or education, he simply does what’s “natural”. When viewed from this perspective, the Enlightenment ideals espoused by the Officer and Doctor come across as abusive, while Woyzeck is actually the only sane and moral person in the movie. The small scale of the movie contributes to the anti-enlightenment narrative, as it isn’t flashy or self-congratulatory like we’ve come to expect with these kinds of films.

Meanwhile, The Ninth Configuration couldn’t be more different. I could tell you what it’s about, but then I’d be lying. I just know it takes place in a castle acting as a psychiatric ward for Vietnam vets, Stacy Keach is in it, and there’s a bar fight. The movie is totally disorienting. At times it’s a psychological drama, other times it’s a comedy, and at one point it becomes an 80s action flick. The tone is all over the place. Perhaps that’s by design but I’m not totally convinced. Either way, this disorder contributes to the overall mystique of the film.

It should also be noted that The Ninth Configuration apparently exists in The Exorcist expanded universe. Not that it has anything to do with those films, except that one of the characters is in the first one.

To be honest, if I watched these movies in isolation, I wouldn’t be a fan of either. But they work very well in tandem. The military aspect of both films seems trivial, but when we consider the discipline and order that the military provides, it contrasts with the chaos associated with insanity. Additionally both films expose the problem of insanity in different ways. One is very plain and straightforward. The other is a complete fucking mess. Woyzeck proposes that insanity is brought forth by the imposition of morals, logic, possession, and science. Ninth Configuration says that it’s the absence of such ideals…or more precisely, the absence of God… is it’s true driving force. Woyzeck is nihilistic. Ninth Configuration is hopeful. Yet both might agree that insanity arises out of the eternal battle between chaos and order.