The 1980s All-Hollywood Team

There’s a massive discrepancy between what the Academy recognized as great in the 80s and what has remained culturally relevant in our times. Ordinary People, Reds, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Out of Africa, Driving Miss Daisy are largely overlooked nowadays in favor of prime-Spielberg and big budget action/ sci-fi schlock, both of which dominated box offices during that decade. And rightfully so. Raise your hand if you’d rather watch Out of Africa over Die Hard. Simply put, the Academy was out of step during this time before course-correcting in the 1990s. So I should state at the beginning that there’s gonna be very few Academy Awards winners on this team.

Cinematography

First Team-Vittorio Storaro. Notable works: Reds, One From the Heart, Ladyhawke, The Last Emperor. (2x nominated. 2x winner). Stararo made a name for himself in the 70s working alongside sex pest Bernardo Bertolucci and later Francis Ford Coppola on Apocalypse Now, the latter of which won him his first Oscar. While I’m not a huge fan of the films he worked on in the 80s, that’s not Stararo’s fault. This guy could make a pile of dogshit look like a work of art.

Second Team-Jan De Bont. Notable works: Roar, The Fourth Man, Die Hard, Black Rain. (0x nominated. 0x wins). De Bont is the only man on this list to get his scalp ripped off by a tiger. That counts for a lot around here. But the lighting and camera work for Die Hard is probably the most under appreciated aspect to that film. Despite a lack of Academy recognition, De Bont deserves to be on this list.

Music Composer

First Team-John Williams. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET: The Extra Terrestrial, The Indiana Jones Series. (12x nominated. 1x win). There was only one option here. And spoiler alert, John Williams will probably win first team for the 90s as well. Get this unbelievable run though: from 1980 to 1982, Williams composed The Imperial March for The Empire Strikes Back, The Raiders March for Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the soundtrack to ET.

Second Team-Vangelis. Notable works: Chariots of Fire, Blade Runner, Missing, Antarctica, The Bounty. (1x nominated. 1x win). Let’s just be honest. The only reason why anyone remembers Chariots of Fire is because of its electronic score. But Vangelis is much more than that. The Blade Runner soundtrack is one of the greatest of all time. And even though Vangelis is associated with more box office bombs than successes, you couldn’t blame the music for that. Hell, that was usually the best part of the movie.

Screenwriter

First Team: Lawrence Kasdan. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi, The Big Chill, Silverado. (2x nominated). Star Wars AND Indiana Jones?! This selection is pretty self explanatory.

Second Team: Paul Schrader. Notable works: American Gigolo, Raging Bull, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, The Mosquito Coast, The Last Temptation of Christ. (0 nominations). Fuck you if you don’t like this pick. I’ve said before that Schrader is the greatest screenwriter of all time and he was at the height of his powers in the 80s.

Supporting Actress

First Team: Kim Basinger. Notable works: Never Say Never Again, The Natural, 9 1/2 Weeks, Batman. (0 nominations). Controversial pick. I get it. But there’s no easy way to put it. Despite James Cameron elevating women into big budget action leads in the 80s, supporting roles—especially the ones we remember most from the decade—were mostly blond damsels in distress. No shade at their ability however. Basinger would be recognized for her acting chops in the following decade. For the 80s, however, I feel that Basinger best demonstrated this blond archetype—one of the few, if not the only one—to do it for both James Bond and Batman.

Second Team: Geena Davis. Notable works: Fletch, The Fly, Beetlejuice, The Accidental Tourist. (1x nomination. 1x win). The great revelation of the 80s before her legendary run in the 90s.

Supporting Actor

First Team: Dennis Hopper, man. Notable works: Out of the Blue, Rumble Fish, River’s Edge, Hoosiers, Blue Velvet (1x nomination). Despite being around since the 50s and dropping off the face of the earth in 70s, Hopper came back in a BIG way in the 80s.

Second Team: Willem Dafoe. Notable works: The Loveless, To Live and Die in LA, Platoon, The Last Temptation of Christ, Mississippi Burning. (1x nomination). Probably the greatest actor of all time to never win an Oscar.

Best Actress

First Team: Meryl Streep. Notable works: The French Lieutenant’s Woman, Sophie’s Choice, Silkwood, Out of Africa, Ironweed. (6x nomination. 1x win). This was just the beginning of absolute domination by Streep in the best actress category. A dominance that continues to this day.

Second Team: Sigourney Weaver. Notable works: The Year of Living Dangerously, Ghostbusters 1 and 2, Aliens, Gorillas in the Mist, Working Girl. (3x nomination). Ellen Ripley alone catapulted Weaver into one of the greatest and most iconic leading ladies of all time.

Best Actor

First Team: Harrison Ford. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Indiana Jones series, Blade Runner, Witness, The Mosquito Coast. (1x nomination). Indiana Jones and Han Solo. Pretty self explanatory. He should have been nominated more than once.

Second Team: Eddie Murphy. Notable works: 48 Hours, Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, The Golden Child, Coming to America. (0x nomination). Despite being the greatest stand up comedian of all time and dominating the box office in the 80s, this translated to 0 nominations. Shame, academy! Shame!

Best Director

First Team: Steven Spielberg. Notable works: Indiana Jones series, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, The Color Purple, Empire of the Sun. (3x nominations). It was the 80s where Spielberg solidified himself as the ultimate box office director.

Second Team: Martin Scorsese. Notable works: Raging Bull, The King of Comedy, After Hours, The Color of Money, The Last Temptation of Christ. (2x nominated). Oliver Stone could have taken this spot. He was the only director to win twice in the 80s. Except no one talks about his work anymore. They do talk about Scorsese’s though, and arguably Scorsese has had a much greater impact on cinema.

Blade runner

Soooo, did I ever talk about Blade Runner on this blog?

I’ve always had a lot of opinions about the film, but it seems like every film buff has wrote a dissertation on it. So what’s the point of clogging up the internet with one more, ya know?

But after ripping off it’s ending in my latest short story, I can’t stop thinking about it.

For the record, and I’ve been very open about this, Blade Runner 2049 is the superior film. By a fucking mile too. Ridley Scott is an interesting visual filmmaker, but all of his movies lack heart. This is true for not only Blade Runner, but Alien, Gladiator, The Martian, etc, as well.

Additionally, I find the script to be underwhelming. Even the film’s most memorable moment (the Tears in Rain monologue) was largely the result of actor Rutger Hauer’s ingenuity and not so much the writer’s. I don’t blame Hampton Fancher and David Peoples for this (the latter would later write Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven). The final script was probably the result of compromise during a troubled production.

Nevertheless, Blade Runner works because everyone else behind the scenes CRUSHED their role, from F/X artist Douglas Trumbull, DP Jordan Cronenweth, composer Vangelis, concept artist Syd Mead, production designer Lawrence G. Paull, and everyone in between.

In Scott’s defense, I believe he sees himself as more of a “CEO”-type filmmaker, or one that brings together highly talented people to do their thing, as opposed to being an auteur himself. So in that respect, he did his job really well. Nevertheless, likely because of this approach, there is an “it” factor that’s lacking in Blade Runner which prevents it from becoming one of the great classics in cinema.

Strangely, I think MOST cinephiles agree with this: Blade Runner is visually and conceptually one of the most influential films of all time. But is it a great movie?

Personally, I think that question is more interesting than the film itself.

But where I disagree with most other fans of the Blade Runner universe are on the Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer) scenes. Hauer feels like he’s acting on an island in this film. While that’s a deliberate choice, his scenes drag the movie down. And to be completely honest, the movie is not nearly as interesting without Harrison Ford on the screen.

Now Ford’s performance is somewhat controversial. It’s noted for being his first “mature” role, and a lot of people don’t like it. He often comes across as detached, grouchy, and needlessly aggressive in some parts. Ford’s performance is a bit dialed back, as opposed to Hauer, who isn’t afraid to be hammy and childish. Unfortunately, Ford acting choices were better suited to the Blade Runner universe and, despite being the leading man, he doesn’t feel like he’s in the film enough.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got to say 🤷‍♂️

Remembering Vangelis

I officially lost my mind on Friday, June 26th, 2009. It was the beginning of the end.

The sugar momma I was sleeping with dropped me like a bad habit. That night, I drowned in a bottle of Sailor Jerry’s and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, there to pick up the pieces, was the sound of Vangelis’ Antarctica.

Odd choice, I know, but I took to the alien, optimistic sound that momentarily took me out of my own head.

Vangelis Papathanassiou was an artist; one of the great film composers, musicians of the last century. Chariots of Fire is a classic, but in my mind, nothing will ever top the soundtracks to Blade Runner and Alexander.

I guess Carl Sagan was also a fan as Vangelis provided much of the soundtrack to the original Cosmos.

RIP Vangelis…the soundtrack to my life, the music of the cosmos…may your art live on.

pennies for the dead (part vii)

“Just be warned,” Joe said to me, “Hell ain’t what you think it is.”

“How so?”

“You just have to see.”

Joe, Pete, and I gathered our divinely blessed weapons and proceeded to the cellar in the woods. Joe went into the portal first, then Pete. I hesitantly went in last.

I felt my body break down into its molecular and atomic parts while time and space melted down. Then reality reconstructed itself and the three of us were in a large theater.

On stage was a nude couple: one an elderly woman and the other an average-looking dude with an abnormally large dong. A horse was also on stage. It was a community theater production of Equus.

“Ah shit. Now I know what you mean,” I said.

We rushed out of the theater, side by side, weapons on ready. We were men on a mission, a mission to find…and kill…Jezebel. And more importantly, we had to stop the dead from invading the earthly realm.

Outside the theater, we hailed a cab. The driver stopped and we all piled into the back. “Does anyone want to sit up here with me?” the driver asked. “Son of a bitch,” I said then got in the front seat.

“Where to?” the cabbie asked. “Downtown” Joe replied.

The cab driver then blasted Jon and Vangelis from the radio and was humming along. I turned to the backseat.

“Hell seems more boring and mildly irritating,” I said, “much like Minneapolis.”

“Yeah, but imagine spending spending eternity here,” Joe replied.

He had a point.

The cap pulled up to a downtown bank. We all piled out of the car. “Are you sure that the Empress of Hell and all of Damnation is here?” I asked.

“Of course, with their ungodly interest rates, there’s nowhere else she could be!” Joe said.

So the three of us…a wizard, an idiot, and a guy with a shotgun…walked into the bank lobby. We went up to a loan officer.

“We’re here to see Jezebel,” I tell the man.

“Do you have an appointment?” he asks.

I cocked the shotgun and blasted a hole in his chest. “She’ll be with you shortly,” the loan officer replied.

Security guards rushed into the lobby and began firing indiscriminately. Pete became an absolute beast and started slicing away with his machete. Joe unleashed fire bolts from his staff. I unloaded shell after shell from my shotgun.

As we looked over the absolute slaughter of security guards, with blood and guts strewn about the lobby, Joe nodded his head. “I think our plan is working out pretty good,” he said.

“I’m out of shells,” I said and dropped the shotgun. Then I pulled out the .38 and kissed it. “But I still got six shots.”

We all went into the elevator and Joe hit the button for the 666th floor. “Holy shit!” I said. “How many floors are in this building?”

32 minutes later, we arrived. Jezebel was in a conference call with all of her minions. She was planning the final stages of her Hellish invasion of earth.

“What took you so long?” she asked.

“Your slow ass elevator,” Pete said.

“You think your earthly powers can stop me?”

I lifted the .38. “Nothing can stop these bullets sister.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

best soundtracks in film history

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (James Horner)- Listen to that opening track. Then listen to it again. James Horner (RIP) had a distinguished career, and this is where he started to get noticed. And honestly, he never really topped it.

Star Trek: First Contact (Jerry Goldsmith)- Some say Goldsmith was phoning it in during the 90s. That’s okay. Everyone was. But he kinda zigged here when any other composer would have zagged. Many consider this Trek film as “Die Hard in space” so anyone else would have done their best Michael Kamen impression. Goldsmith didn’t do that. He went right for the emotional gut and it worked.

Dances With Wolves (John Barry)- When playing this on the piano, I like to mix it with Goldsmith’s First Contact score. That’s all I got to say about that.

Blade Runner (Vangelis)- Man I love the crash that kickstarts the opening credits. Vangelis is the only one that could have done this film justice. Tears in Rain is one of the best songs in electronic music history. Speaking of Vangelis….

Alexander (Vangelis)- The screenplay is godawful, Colin Farrell is terrible, and Oliver Stone is out of his league in this one. But despite all of that, I’d still say that this is an okay film. But Vangelis’ soundtrack gets overlooked. It’s different in that Vangelis tries to do a traditional score with his use of strings, but there are some electric elements that are worth looking out for.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (Ryuichi Sakamoto)- The only reason people know this movie is because of the soundtrack, and for good reason. But the film as a whole is an overlooked gem.

The Deer Hunter (Stanley Myers)- You get one song and one song only on this soundtrack. But that’s all that’s necessary.

The Last Temptation of Christ (Peter Gabriel)- Gabriel’s international sound puts a modern spin on a familiar story. Every track slaps, but A Different Drum might be the standout.