So I was just minding my own business while loitering in the Publix parking lot when I saw a guy driving a light blue car with an Ole Miss license plate and Ole Miss bumper stickers all over the back. When he stepped out of the car, he was wearing an Ole Miss polo with an Ole Miss hat.
So I stopped the man. “Excuse me, sir, I’m confused,” I said, “where did you go to college?”
He stood there and stared blankly at me. “Ole Miss,” he finally said.
“Ole Miss? Is that a college?”
“Yes. It’s the University of Mississippi.”
“The University of Mississippi you say? Is that in Mississippi?”
“Yes.”
“That’s great! I’m a fan of bulldogs and cowbells too!”
“That’s Mississippi STATE University, sir. I went to the University of Mississippi.”
“You guys don’t have cowbells and bulldogs?”
“No. We’re the Rebels.”
“The Rebels? Like in Star Wars?”
“No.”
“I don’t understand. If it’s not against Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire, I can’t imagine what you’d be rebelling against.”
“It’s rebels from the South during the Civil War.”
“They were rebelling against slavery, right?”
“No.”
“So they were rebelling FOR slavery?”
“Look, it’s just a college mascot.”
“But that’s racist sir. You’re fucked up,” I said while wagging my finger. “You should really be ashamed of yourself…”
Finally the staff called the cops and I’m now banned from Publix for three months. Smh…I can’t believe the nerve of some people. 😔
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