Tag: predictions

2022 NFL Predictions

Since I was absolutely 100% correct in my Super Bowl predictions, here are my predictions for the upcoming NFL season: 

-Mike McCarthy will get fired less than six games into the season. Kellen Moore is named HC. Dallas Cowboys make the playoffs. Moore is named Coach of the Year.

-Jared Goff will be Comeback Player of the Year.

-Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers, and Las Vegas Raiders will all fall below expectations.

-Kevin Byard will be named Defensive Player of the Year.

-Tom Brady will have another 5000 yard season. Will NOT win MVP. Despite playing at a high level, he WILL retire at the end of the season and this time he’ll mean it.

-NFC Championship: Los Angeles Rams/Green Bay Packers

-AFC Championship: Kansas City Chiefs AND….The DENVER FUCKING BRONCOS!!!!!

-A player will expose himself on the sideline.

-Aaron Rodgers will have a bizarre press conference and people will begin wondering about his mental state if they weren’t doing so already. Will win another MVP.

-Aaron Donald will kill a man (non-player) on the field.

-A game will be moved back a day due to “safety concerns” 

-Troy Aikman will cry while calling a game.

-Matt Rhule will pull a Steve Sarkisian, coach a game drunk, and WIN.

-The most rushing yards in a single season will be broken this year by Jonathan Taylor, Nick Chubb, or DAVID MONTGOMERY?!

As usual I stand by all of my predictions. So if you follow my advice, prepare your bank accounts. You’re about to be a millionaire.

super bowl predictions

I think this will be a pretty good game guys!

Here are my predictions:

Matthew Stafford will throw 11/97 passes for 847 yards along with 11 interceptions and 2 touchdowns (both of which will be called back due to offensive pass interference on a coked-out Sean McVay)

McVay will also throw a controversial coach’s challenge on a 4th and 9 play where Joe Burrow will attempt a QB sneak. Replay will show that Burrow completed the first down.

Final score: 2-0 Bengals (the safety, of course, will come from Matthew Stafford running out of the back of his own end zone due to the curse of the Detroit Lions)

The Bengals will celebrate victory by pouring a Gatorade cooler filled with piping hot Skyline chili onto Zac Taylor.

Take that to the bank!