The 1980s All-Hollywood Team

There’s a massive discrepancy between what the Academy recognized as great in the 80s and what has remained culturally relevant in our times. Ordinary People, Reds, Chariots of Fire, Gandhi, Terms of Endearment, Out of Africa, Driving Miss Daisy are largely overlooked nowadays in favor of prime-Spielberg and big budget action/ sci-fi schlock, both of which dominated box offices during that decade. And rightfully so. Raise your hand if you’d rather watch Out of Africa over Die Hard. Simply put, the Academy was out of step during this time before course-correcting in the 1990s. So I should state at the beginning that there’s gonna be very few Academy Awards winners on this team.

Cinematography

First Team-Vittorio Storaro. Notable works: Reds, One From the Heart, Ladyhawke, The Last Emperor. (2x nominated. 2x winner). Stararo made a name for himself in the 70s working alongside sex pest Bernardo Bertolucci and later Francis Ford Coppola on Apocalypse Now, the latter of which won him his first Oscar. While I’m not a huge fan of the films he worked on in the 80s, that’s not Stararo’s fault. This guy could make a pile of dogshit look like a work of art.

Second Team-Jan De Bont. Notable works: Roar, The Fourth Man, Die Hard, Black Rain. (0x nominated. 0x wins). De Bont is the only man on this list to get his scalp ripped off by a tiger. That counts for a lot around here. But the lighting and camera work for Die Hard is probably the most under appreciated aspect to that film. Despite a lack of Academy recognition, De Bont deserves to be on this list.

Music Composer

First Team-John Williams. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET: The Extra Terrestrial, The Indiana Jones Series. (12x nominated. 1x win). There was only one option here. And spoiler alert, John Williams will probably win first team for the 90s as well. Get this unbelievable run though: from 1980 to 1982, Williams composed The Imperial March for The Empire Strikes Back, The Raiders March for Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the soundtrack to ET.

Second Team-Vangelis. Notable works: Chariots of Fire, Blade Runner, Missing, Antarctica, The Bounty. (1x nominated. 1x win). Let’s just be honest. The only reason why anyone remembers Chariots of Fire is because of its electronic score. But Vangelis is much more than that. The Blade Runner soundtrack is one of the greatest of all time. And even though Vangelis is associated with more box office bombs than successes, you couldn’t blame the music for that. Hell, that was usually the best part of the movie.

Screenwriter

First Team: Lawrence Kasdan. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi, The Big Chill, Silverado. (2x nominated). Star Wars AND Indiana Jones?! This selection is pretty self explanatory.

Second Team: Paul Schrader. Notable works: American Gigolo, Raging Bull, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, The Mosquito Coast, The Last Temptation of Christ. (0 nominations). Fuck you if you don’t like this pick. I’ve said before that Schrader is the greatest screenwriter of all time and he was at the height of his powers in the 80s.

Supporting Actress

First Team: Kim Basinger. Notable works: Never Say Never Again, The Natural, 9 1/2 Weeks, Batman. (0 nominations). Controversial pick. I get it. But there’s no easy way to put it. Despite James Cameron elevating women into big budget action leads in the 80s, supporting roles—especially the ones we remember most from the decade—were mostly blond damsels in distress. No shade at their ability however. Basinger would be recognized for her acting chops in the following decade. For the 80s, however, I feel that Basinger best demonstrated this blond archetype—one of the few, if not the only one—to do it for both James Bond and Batman.

Second Team: Geena Davis. Notable works: Fletch, The Fly, Beetlejuice, The Accidental Tourist. (1x nomination. 1x win). The great revelation of the 80s before her legendary run in the 90s.

Supporting Actor

First Team: Dennis Hopper, man. Notable works: Out of the Blue, Rumble Fish, River’s Edge, Hoosiers, Blue Velvet (1x nomination). Despite being around since the 50s and dropping off the face of the earth in 70s, Hopper came back in a BIG way in the 80s.

Second Team: Willem Dafoe. Notable works: The Loveless, To Live and Die in LA, Platoon, The Last Temptation of Christ, Mississippi Burning. (1x nomination). Probably the greatest actor of all time to never win an Oscar.

Best Actress

First Team: Meryl Streep. Notable works: The French Lieutenant’s Woman, Sophie’s Choice, Silkwood, Out of Africa, Ironweed. (6x nomination. 1x win). This was just the beginning of absolute domination by Streep in the best actress category. A dominance that continues to this day.

Second Team: Sigourney Weaver. Notable works: The Year of Living Dangerously, Ghostbusters 1 and 2, Aliens, Gorillas in the Mist, Working Girl. (3x nomination). Ellen Ripley alone catapulted Weaver into one of the greatest and most iconic leading ladies of all time.

Best Actor

First Team: Harrison Ford. Notable works: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Indiana Jones series, Blade Runner, Witness, The Mosquito Coast. (1x nomination). Indiana Jones and Han Solo. Pretty self explanatory. He should have been nominated more than once.

Second Team: Eddie Murphy. Notable works: 48 Hours, Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, The Golden Child, Coming to America. (0x nomination). Despite being the greatest stand up comedian of all time and dominating the box office in the 80s, this translated to 0 nominations. Shame, academy! Shame!

Best Director

First Team: Steven Spielberg. Notable works: Indiana Jones series, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, The Color Purple, Empire of the Sun. (3x nominations). It was the 80s where Spielberg solidified himself as the ultimate box office director.

Second Team: Martin Scorsese. Notable works: Raging Bull, The King of Comedy, After Hours, The Color of Money, The Last Temptation of Christ. (2x nominated). Oliver Stone could have taken this spot. He was the only director to win twice in the 80s. Except no one talks about his work anymore. They do talk about Scorsese’s though, and arguably Scorsese has had a much greater impact on cinema.

I need to formally apologize

It appears that my man Paul “Shreddin” Schrader, the greatest screenwriter of all time, has crossed over into the technological abyss. First he discussed his “AI girlfriend”, which, honestly, if you know anything about Schrader, it doesn’t shock me that he had one. But now he has seemingly embarrassed the writing community by embracing AI use in the craft of screenwriting. For neo-Luddites like myself, this is a sad day. Paul might as well have been the last soldier to cross the Rubicon. So the die is cast, folks. It’s now you, me, and the human soul versus Hollywood and the billionaire-technological complex.

Of course my opinions have evolved over time regarding AI. If you recall, my initial reaction to it was kinda ambivalent. To be more precise, I actually found it humorous. I simply chalked it up to a dumb computer program designed to say stupid shit for our amusement exclusively. I never thought that people would use it for legitimate purposes like research, brain storming, and for real and honest creativity. But that’s what The Man wants. They want to slowly chip away at our god-given capacity for reasoning and creative thought. They want to eradicate the soul itself and replace it with a far more malleable software to replace human ingenuity. In short, They want you dumb and under their thumb. Sadly, this was apparent to me when ChatGPT arrived, but I woefully underestimated how aggressively this technology would be promoted and deployed.

The sad part is that even if AI never fully rivals human intelligence, its damage will leave a very real scar. Data centers and their tyrannical demand for land, power, and water will only pile on to the ecological disaster that is the 21st century. So think about that the next time you ask Claude to write a Mad Men script where Don Draper pitches armed robbery while COMMITTING armed robbery. Think about the water you’re wasting.

We, as writers and artists, have a moral imperative to reject artificial intelligence. Save creative integrity. Save the earth. And for god sake, save the human soul.

An event happened

The world’s a better place because of The Adam Friedland Show. The worst member of the hugely influential Cumtown podcast has made quite a name for himself. Since its inception, TFS has had such notable guest like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Chris Cuomo grace its halls.

Now it’s Paul Schrader’s turn in the chair.

I’ve long stated that Schrader is probably the greatest screenwriter of all time. To see him essentially do an episode of Cumtown sans Nick Mullen and Stavros Halkias is a bit much for my mind to handle. The episode begins with Friedland remaking Taxi Driver to a montage of a song called “Fuck me in my ass” and then showing the film to a Jewish producer from Louisiana named Gary Pennis Fagot. And while Schrader attempts to wax philosophical in his interview, Friedland steers the conversation towards the size of Willem Dafoe’s penis. The episode ends on an eyebrow raising discussion on pedophilia and Schrader announcing his need to take a shit/piss. It was everything that I hoped it would be.

I can’t wait for the interview with Barack Obama.

Rolling Thunder, pouring rain

I’m surprised that Rolling Thunder has the following it does. It’s not good enough to be a classic and not bad enough to be a cult classic. But it did have potential, yet somewhere along the way someone dropped the ball.

It’s based on an original story by Paul Schrader. While the final product does have many of the markings of a Schrader-written feature (like the shooting up of a brothel during the film’s climax), it seems that many of its most interesting elements were stripped away.

William Devane plays a released Vietnam POW whose hometown rewards him with a valuable coin collection. A group of bandits steal the collection, killing his wife and child and maiming his hand in the process. Armed with his new hook hand, Devane enlists the help of friend Tommy Lee Jones to seek revenge.

It sounds like pretty standard 70s grit in the same vein as Death Wish, Dirty Harry, etc. And for the most part, it is. Thankfully, the Schrader-influenced elements that survive slightly elevate the film above that genre. Unfortunately, because the filmmakers decided to dial back on the gore and melodrama, Rolling Thunder’s impact is entirely negated.

And after 38 seconds of research, I came across the interesting tidbit on IMDB:

Goddamn, what a movie that would have been. Unfortunately the studio didn’t have the balls to do that kind of picture so we’re stuck with something that’s unfulfilling.

William Devane is a respectable actor and I’m sure his friends would say he’s a nice guy. But he was miscast in this part. From the moment we see him, he doesn’t come across as a guy that’s been scarred from years of torture. He feels a little bit too cool for that.

But you know who would have been perfect for the role?

Co-star Tommy Lee Jones.

I’m just gonna say it, Jones was fine AF in the 70s. And he doesn’t emote too much in his performance. He doesn’t have to. From the moment we’re introduced to him, we know exactly what he’s feeling. Had Schrader been able to make the picture he wanted, Tommy Lee Jones would have made the perfect white trash version of Travis Bickle.

Additionally, there’s no payoff with many of the Schraderian elements. At one point, Devane explains that he learned to love torture because that’s how “you beat your enemies” (paraphrasing). That came in handy when his home was invaded, but this attempt at a theme was never fully established.

Plus, the protagonist was given a hook hand. You’d think that that device would play a larger role in the story, but only twice does Devane use it against his enemies. I mean what the fuck? You’re given a hook for a hand. Kill everybody with it!

Damn it Paul, you did it again!

I don’t fear AI. In fact, I embrace it.

I hope that every network television show employs AI to generate its shitty content. And, if Paul “Shredder” Schrader is correct, I hope those network producers pay me to take credit for writing it.

But more importantly, if an artist is serious about creating something, the competition from AI will force us to lean into originality. So I say accept the challenge (and the free labor) presented by AI.

The Paul Schrader method

Of course I worship the ground Paul Schrader walks on but our writing methods couldn’t be farther apart. I would be interested though in seeing if I’d make the cut for his screenwriting class. I’d think he’d let me in if I disclosed my insecurities over having an average penis. That would make a fascinating discussion over 10 weeks.

But Paul’s method is a little too structured. Naturally, writing 101 tells you to utilize metaphor in place of a real world problem. As Schrader said, fiction allows us to see all the drama and complexities play out through the filter of metaphor. I also agree that we need limitations in art (Nicholas Meyer has echoed a similar sentiment). But I think that’s where our philosophies diverge.

To me, I approach art, or writing, as an ongoing activity. It very much exits in the present. That’s why I rarely take time to develop a story. If I have a concept, I run with it. Of course, like Schrader, I filter my own concerns, thoughts, and insecurities into the story and watch it play out. But the spontaneity is where the fun is.

That’s why I wish I was a television writer. Give me a story and a deadline and let’s see what happens. I’m not saying that it will be any good, but I’d certainly have a good time!

Maybe my writing suffers because of this “method”. I don’t know. But this was an interesting lecture by Schrader.

The man who came to play

I’ve always said that the greatest movie ever made is The Deer Hunter. And it’s no secret that I experience the most insane dreams possible.

So last night, I dreamt that The Deer Hunter was never produced at all and instead, in its place, the original script titled The Man Who Came to Play was made. I know nothing of this apparently “spec” script, other than it involves friends going to Las Vegas to play Russian Roulette. Michael Cimino and Deric Washburn later repurposed this screenplay into The Deer Hunter, switching out Vegas for Vietnam.

In fact, as far as I know, only the Russian Roulette scenes survived in the final draft from the original treatment. There’s no telling what The Man Who Came To Play would have looked like, but if my dream is any indication, it would have fit in well with the dark 70s canon.

This script, written by Louis A Garfinkle and soap opera actor Quinn Redeker, is apparently for sale online. There’s no telling how much it costs and I couldn’t find any of its story details, but my main question is why did this friend or friends go to Vegas to play Russian Roulette?

Did they do it willfully?

Were they coerced?!

I understand why Cimino and Washburn repurposed it. It made sense for the time and it absolutely worked. But I like to play this game of “what if”. Nowadays, I find the original concept to be far more darker and nihilistic, especially if the friends were written to be Vietnam vets.

I can’t help but think that The Man Who Came To Play would have made a terrific spiritual sequel to Taxi Driver. Think about it: Bobby DeNiro as Travis Bickle. We’ll pretend that the ending to Taxi Driver wasn’t the dying dream of a mass shooter. Instead, Bickle survives and goes to Vegas where’s he’s once again disgusted with the crime and decadence of Sin City. One way or another, he finds himself reliving the nightmares of Vietnam; he begins entertaining depraved businessmen by hitting the underground Russian Roulette circuit.

I see a lot of Paul Schrader’s “God’s lonely man” in Garfinkle and Redeker’s concept. But oh well. We got The Deer Hunter instead and we should all be thankful for that.

But if anyone knows anything about this script, please reach out to me.

EO

When I’ve got nothing else to talk about, I talk about Paul Schrader (or football, or Star Trek, etc.)

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/eo-movie-review-2022

I like the idea of a non-children’s movie about an animal. What little I know about EO, I guess it approaches the human subject from the perspective of a donkey. Whatever emotions, thoughts, ambitions, etc that we see in the donkey is merely a projection. That’s interesting.

I’ve stated somewhere on this blog before that it’s this very perspective that made me appreciate David Cronenberg. Since we’re humans, we tend to take for granted the nature of our bodies and behavior. But from a non-human perspective, we are probably very disgusting and perplexing creatures. And, perhaps, that’s why body horror plays a significant role in some of Cronenberg’s films.

But Schrader states that “the impulse to anthropomorphize defines us.” I’m not sure where he’s coming from with this, but that’s a hard disagree from me. For example, my cat probably assumes that I’m just a larger cat, so in a way, he’s simply “felinemorphizing” me. In short, “anthropomorphizing” is not a unique phenomenon to humans.

Another commenter suggested that, to humans, animals are innocent because they are “untouched by original sin.” It should be noted that Schrader was a noted Calvinist who, despite maintaining progressive ideals, still identifies as Christian. Now this suggestion is obviously incorrect, BUT…insofar as I’m aware…only humans practice religion. This can mean one of only two things: humans ARE touched by some supernatural reality, OR we are not as intelligent as we believe ourselves to be. You be the judge (I think you know where I stand). Nevertheless, to conceptualize religion broadly, speculating on things that cannot be observed IS a unique human phenomenon (insofar as we can tell).

This impulse led humans into a religious paradigm and, subsequently, into a scientific one. Moreover, this impulse was spearheaded by the ultimate unique cognitive capacity: complex language.

THAT’S what makes humans humans.

But, I think Schrader hits on an important point: why do we empathize more with the pain of an animal than that of a human? Obviously (in my view, at least) evolutionary psychology plays a significant role in this. But Schrader is correct. In fact, our contemptuous and flippant attitude towards one another makes us nothing more but animals.

Actually, I’ll go a step further: we are the WORST animal there is.

Skeetin

I’m a little under the weather so I’m just gonna phone this one in.

But I was doing my annual Paul Schrader marathon when I got to Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist. A few thoughts: 1.) it’s a shitty movie but 2.) Vittorio Stararo was the DP?!!! How did that get past me?

And it’s such a shame that this film didn’t work because it is very much in line with the themes that occur throughout Schrader’s work. I haven’t bothered with the retooled Exorcist: The Beginning, but I’m glad Schrader stuck to his guns and at least attempted to make a cerebral film rather than make a run-of-the-mill horror. That’s what made the original Exorcist so interesting: director William Friedkin stated that it never occurred to him that he was making a “horror film” (he could be bullshitting though).

Schrader probably should have had a bigger say in the screenplay. Much of the introspective philosophical back-and-forth that, in my opinion, slightly bogged down The Last Temptation of Christ (which clashed with Martin Scorsese’s rather “extroverted” direction) would have been quite effective for Dominion. Additionally, the event that caused Father Merrin’s lack of faith should have been revealed later in the movie. And while there was some good stuff with the British colonial troops, I felt that there was no payoff for any of it.

(Plus the special effects REALLY sucked ass)

I also saw Touch for the first time. I don’t remember a damn thing about it other than Skeet Ulrich was in it.

Whatever happened to that guy? That dude was like, super fucking hot. Shouldn’t he have had a bigger career?

Were people disappointed to find out that he wasn’t Danish?

Paul SCHREDer

My man Paul Schrader is a truth bomb machine.

While I haven’t watched the latest iteration of All Quiet on the Western Front, based on what I’ve seen from other war films, I largely agree with his assessment.

In fact, the only REAL anti-war WAR film I can think of is The Deer Hunter. While it does depict Robert DeNiro torching a guy with a flame thrower (in what I think is it’s most out of place scene), replacing the horror of war with several rounds of Russian Roulette is about the only time I’ve seen filmmakers deprive the audience of the spectacle of battle. The ending, I think, should be taken ironically; we use patriotism to mask our grief.

(I’d also say that Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory might be a true example of an “anti-war WAR film)

In my view, the reasons why movies have trouble maintaining the guise of “anti-war” is because film is fundamentally a visual medium. When movies are confined to “showing and not telling”, it’s almost impossible to not become spectacle.

And war is the ultimate human spectacle.

Understanding this, the only time a film can become truly anti-war…while simultaneously depicting war…is if it becomes a dark, dark comedy; almost to the point where it goes over the heads of the less sophisticated.

At least this is how I’ve always interpreted Apocalypse Now.