While I was losing thousands on the slots, casino “security” was breathing down my neck and waving their baseball bats. After losing my final quarter, I had enough and turned around to shout at them. “There!” I said. “I lost all my life savings to the Wheel of Fortune machine! You can tell your boss that he finally made a profit off me!”

The lead guard swung his bat one last time and gave me a mean look. “Swing that bat one more time and I’ll shove it up your ass,” I retorted.

The guards lowered their bats and dispersed. “Pussies!” I shouted at them.

With my last $10 I noticed Susan drinking alone at the bar. We hadn’t said a word to each other since the fuck sesh the night before and I felt like I needed to clear the air. I laid the $10 bill on the bar and ordered a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. “That’ll be $9.95,” the bartender said.

“Fuck,” I said under my breath. “Alright, bring it to me.”

Susan was silent as I pulled up a stool next to hers. She was clutching her beer and was deep in thought. The bartender brought the drink and laid the nickel on the counter. “Can I get you anything else?” he asked.

“No. Kiss my ass,” I said and the barman bowed and wondered off.

I sipped my beer and lamented to Susan. “Life is hard enough without having to be charged $10 for a PBR,” I said. “Is that all that motivates this world? Greed and avarice? If I were the Old Testament god, I too would smite the world with a mighty flood and repopulate it with a race of pure beings touched only by angelic blood. That was where god fucked up. He thought Noah was the only man without blemish and look what that got us: Reno goddamn Nevada. I say curse god and all of existence for permitting such a horrid place!”

Susan said nothing to this.

“So anyways, how are you?” I ask.

“Fine,” she said.

“I would buy you another drink but I’ve only got a dime to my name.”

“It’s okay.”

“Do you think the Knicks will win the Finals?”

“No.”

“Sorry for not shaving my balls. I’ve been out in the wilderness for awhile and haven’t had the time.”

Susan took a huge gulp of her beer and looked at me. “Now that we have Randy in our sights, I don’t know how to feel,” she explained.

“I think you’re putting way too much thought into this,” I said. “Randy is an idiot.”

“I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to track him down. I can’t shake the feeling that all of this has been in vain.”

“Life is all vanity,” I told her. Then I picked up the nickel and held it up. “But life is short. And I’m not gonna waste it on second guessing myself. Things can’t be shit forever. Just you watch.”

Out of defiance to the casino, I proudly took that nickel and placed into a penny slot. The wheels turned before landing on three straight nooses and lights began flashing with an endless amount coins piled into the troth. The guards reappeared with baseball bats ready as I tried to cash the coins so I lifted my shirt to reveal the Walther PPQ tucked away in the waist of my pants.

“Try it,” I taunted to the lead guard. “The manager said he didn’t want a bloodbath in his casino. You wouldn’t want to go against his wishes eh?”

The guards again lowered their bats and dispersed. I held the wad of cash and beamed. “Maybe I’m the one touched by god,” I said to myself.

TO BE CONTINUED…