Tag: Nashville

And moreover again…

The NFL team in Nashville is having an identity crisis. This problem should be enough to keep us all awake at night. Thankfully I have a very simple solution. As you are aware by now, I have advocated for restoration of the Oilers name. I don’t do so because I prefer the old name, but because Amy Adams Strunk has painted herself into a corner and this is the only way out. Now, she’s already brought back the Oilers uniforms. So it’s time to go the extra mile.

But I have another suggestion, and this suggestion might not be as popular but nonetheless necessary. An emphasis with the new uniforms is its Nashville identity so they subtly incorporated “guitar strings” onto the helmet. Yet again, as I have complained so many times before, this is a half measure. So this is where I may kick up a hornet’s nest: the Nashville football team shouldn’t be called the “Tennessee Oilers.” They should be the Nashville Oilers.

Now I know what you’re thinking. It doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue. But neither did “Houston Oilers” for that matter. Additionally, this might mean dropping the iconic “stars of Tennessee” from the team emblem. Whatever my detractors might think, I believe that this is a necessary measure to emphasize exclusivity; this is a team for Nashvillians and Nashvillians ONLY. And let’s just be honest, Nashville is where the cool kids of Tennessee hang out. The fair weather fans of Memphis couldn’t care less. The people of Knoxville are too busy cheering for that team of roadside construction workers. And Chattanooga might as well be in Georgia. If you want your club to be cool, you don’t make it appeal to the largest group possible. You make it exclusive. And the Oilers aren’t “Tennessee’s” team. It belongs to the cool kids of Nashville.

Ranking the 50 States (the good states)

Like I said, every state has a part of it that I absolutely HATE. But if you’re living in one of these places (except for the bottom two) life is probably pretty good.

19. Kentucky

You either get the Bluegrass State or you don’t. Most claim it to be a southern state. Some say otherwise. But I like that ambiguity. It gives the COMMONWEALTH its own distinct flavor.

18. Missouri

To me, Missouri is decidedly and unambiguously NOT a southern state as much as it desires to be. But that’s neither here nor there. KC is legit. Other than the Ozarks on the southern portion, there might not be much else there. But at least they got KC.

17. Georgia

Atlanta is another legit city. Probably the best in the south. While it might be the Confederate Flag capital of the US, if you can ignore all of that, it’s actually a really charming place.

16. New Mexico

This is actually another state I’d like to rank higher. But other than Albuquerque, Taos, and Santa Fe (or Roswell if you’re a weirdo), there’s a whole lot of NOTHING occupying this place.

15. Minnesota

I feel like I’ve already mentioned this state, but whatever. It’s quietly one of the prettiest places. The only knock against it is that it contains Minnesota Vikings fans and it gets really fucking cold.

14. Maine

People are a little odd, but other than that, it’s pretty ace. Marylanders like to brag about their lobsters and crabs or whatever, but they ain’t shit compared to Maine.

13. New York

Cities along the western edge are a little iffy. But the rest of the state could be a nuclear wasteland and it would still rank this high thanks to NYC.

12. Nevada

Now Nevada IS mostly a nuclear wasteland, but I rank it above NY because…between Las Vegas and Reno, with all its cheap glitz, glam, and shattered dreams…it seems like I’d fit in much better there.

11. Tennessee

Sure the cost of living has skyrocketed, but make no mistake: whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find it in Tennessee. Now Nashville likes to consider itself a “party town” on par with Las Vegas, New Orleans, and Miami…and it’s DEFINITELY not that. Nevertheless it’s a pretty solid town. Sure it’s a little rough around the edges, but give it a few years and Tennessee will probably be a top 10 state.