How did it take me this long to see the greatest movie ever made: The King of New York. It stars the greatest cast ever assembled; from Christopher Walken to Wesley Snipes, from Laurence Fishburn to David Caruso (and everyone in between)

I’m gonna shoot straight with you guys, I have no idea what it’s about. But I’ll tell you what happened: There’s a shootout in a hotel room and some dude busts in and says “room service mother fuckers!”. Christopher Walken gets mugged while on a subway and groping a woman. Instead of killing his muggers, he tosses them a wad of cash and offers them a job. Laurence Fishburn acts like a complete asshole at at a chicken joint. David Caruso, an actor from Queens, does a terrible Brooklyn accent. And who can forget Walken’s dorky-ass dance? Plus, Fishburn gets some killer one-liners, best one being “no one gets a free ride!” after slamming a cop hanging on the side of his car into a fire hydrant.

Naturally, the movie has a lull in the middle, but it picks up in the final act. And for those of us who have trouble paying attention, the moral of the story is summed up in the end: there’s little difference between cops and criminals (I guess that’s the point, I really wasn’t paying attention).

I don’t know if it’s as good as Abel Ferrera’s magnum opus Bad Lieutenant, but it’s pretty damn good. It’s definitely Christopher Walken at his peak before he became known for simply being Christopher Walken.