I’m old as shit

As I always tell my grandkids: “if I ever turn into an old cantankerous bastard that can’t accept change, shoot me and dump my body into the river.” And that’s why I’m still alive. Those kids will kill me at the first sign of senility.

Yet even my grandkids (who are 80 years old) will agree: comedy is dead.

Which is why jackass forever is such an anomaly; no social commentary, no pretensions of being something profound. It’s just a bunch of dudes smashing their dicks and shoving things up their ass for a laugh. In fact, kudos to Johnny Knoxville and the gang for not slowing down at their advanced age. The world needs comedy like this.

Sure, eventually I’ll get cancelled for my praise of Nick Mullen and Cumtown, but the man knows how to craft a joke on the fly. Of course everyone knows that Mullen (who is president of the DSA) and his sidekick Adam Friedland are NOTORIOUS leftists (however, The Adam Friedland Show is officially center-left), don’t let that fool you. Mullen is fully committed to the bit; he’s always playing a deranged version of his already deranged self. Forget “punching up or down”. The joke is supposed to be on him AND especially Friedland.

That level of commitment is gone in today’s comedy. So never let the mask slip. But mostly, I wish they’d bring back the gross-out comedies of the late 90/early 00s.

That was the one thing that era got right.

respect for Blippi

Anyone have a toddler?

So my wife got disturbed at the actor who plays Blippi, a YouTube character for kids.

“What? Did he do gay porn? Every guy has done gay porn (not me of course, I’ve never had sex),” I asked my wife.

“No. I don’t want to say. Just google it.”

So I did.

And I was glad I did. Because apparently the actor once played another character called “steezy grossman” where he made gross out videos. In one such video, he poops all over his friend.

“But it makes sense for him to poop on his friend,” I told my wife. “According to Wikipedia, the character was born as poop because his parents had anal sex. Don’t you understand art? Idiot.”

Apparently parents were pissed off about this. I don’t see what the problem is.

Has everyone forgotten about Jackass?

A dude goes into a hardware store and shits in a display toilet. It was hilarious. And if that dude started a children’s show on YouTube nowadays, no one would bat an eye!

I applaud Blippi (whatever the actor’s name). My son loves the guy. He’s got versatility.

He’s got skill, talent, a natural performer. None of us have the balls to do what he did (and does).