Tag: Hawaii

The College Football Uniform Playoff (Part II-Mountain West)

Okay, so maybe the SEC isn’t the weakest conference. The Mountain West also has painfully boring uniforms. For background purposes, The MWC currently hosts 12 schools in football.

12. Nevada-Reno

I feel absolutely nothing for this uniform. It’s less than boring. It creates a black hole in my imagination that’s large enough for Matthew McConaughey to fall into.

11. Utah State

This is only a slight elevation from making me contemplate death to just plain boring.

10. Hawaii

I don’t know, this just feels like a missed opportunity to do something more creative. I love the logo. The all black style is pretty dope too. But I guess this just fits in with the rest of the MWC blandness.

9. Fresno State

Yeah, I’ve got nothin.

8. Nevada-Las Vegas

For a program that was taking applications for head coach through Indeed, the uniforms aren’t too shabby. And for the record, yes UNLV rejected my application.

7. Air Force

Blue and white is a crisp look but that bolt logo is a bit amateurish. They’d be better off just putting numbers on the side of the helmets.

6. New Mexico

‘Lobos’ is a cool-ass name. While the uniform looks good, I feel like I’ve seen this red too many times in this conference.

5. Wyoming

Brown and yellow sounds like a combination that shouldn’t work but it does here. My biggest gripe though is the cheapass font.

4. San Diego State

At first glance this looks like another run-of-the-mill MWC outfit. But it’s actually got a lot going for it. The logo is awesome. Aztecs are cool. And the red sleeves with the black body is totally bitchin.

3. San Jose State

The Los Angeles Rams should take note here on how to make this color scheme look good. The blue and yellow are bold enough alone, so there’s no need to do too much. The colors speak for themselves. Plus, totally awesome logo.

2. Colorado State

This one might be an acquired taste but the green and gold works for me. Since the LA Rams totally fucked up their helmet logo, CSU Rams now have the best ram helmet. But green is an another underrated color that more teams should utilize.

1. Boise State

These uniforms absolutely hurt my eyes, but in a good way. And respect to their blue field. Only those with strong eyes can stand to watch an entire game. So congratulations to the Boise State Broncos for making the playoffs.

Ranking the 50 States (Top 10)

10. South Dakota

“South Dakota, really?” Yes, REALLY. What seems like one big wheat field at first glance is actually one of the coolest states there is: Sturgis, Deadwood, the Black Hills, Mount Rushmore, Badlands National Park, and the greatest movie of all time, Dances With Wolves, was filmed there. It might be the most overlooked state there is.

9. Utah

If it weren’t for the Mormons running everything here, this place might rank higher. But geographically, this state ranks up there with the best of em.

8. Oregon

Honestly, Oregon isn’t my cup of tea but I can respect it for what it is. It’s far and away better than Washington, and Portland can beat Seattle’s buttcheeks blood red in being a real ass city.

6/7. New Hampshire/Vermont

Let’s just be clear, there’s no difference between Vermont and New Hampshire. Maybe there’s a huge rivalry between the residents of these two states, but no one outside of that gives a fuck. That being said, if I could live anywhere, I’d like to live here. It’s peaceful, quiet, beautiful, and people don’t seem to be ignorant. That’s a rare combination.

5. Arizona

Sedona, Lake Havasu, Grand Canyon, Tombstone, etc, etc. Phoenix and Tucson are moving on up towards being real ass cities. At number 5, Arizona can’t get much higher (unless it legalizes pot)

4. Texas

Texas isn’t just a state on a map. It’s also a state of mind. It’s a place for people who like to drive like a goddamn maniac, curse Jerry Jones, and open carry for no other reason but to feel one step closer to death. You either get it or you don’t. And unfortunately, I get it.

3. California

Suck it losers. You can laugh at California’s problems all you want. Gas can be $50 a gallon with wildfires raging every 20 feet and this state would STILL rank number 3. Because here’s the thing that Americans that live in the other 49 states don’t understand: Californians don’t think about you. They know they live in one of the the coolest states…and one of the greatest places anywhere in the world…and you don’t. Boo hoo.

2. Colorado

I got REALLY high at a McDonalds in Denver and forgot where I was at. I tried the same thing at a Starbucks in San Diego and it just wasn’t the same. In short, Colorado is the best state to get high in.

1. Hawaii

No matter where you’re at in the United States, or in the world for that matter, we can all agree: we’d rather be in Hawaii right now.