How I learned to stop worrying

You know like how Christians think everything happening in the world is the sign of the end times? I’m starting to understand that now. Not that I think the world is coming to an end. It was here long before us and will be here long after us. But the absurd kidnapping of a foreign leader reminds me that things have to get worse before they get better. So in other words, the relief I feel feels less like Christian vindication and more like seeing signs of a long running TV series “jumping the shark” before getting its well deserved cancellation. With any luck, the era of Trump is entering its red supergiant phase before the final supernova and thus leaving a deep, dark black hole on the soul of America forever and ever. Amen.

We all knew that there was only one way this could have ended.

Of course, with a probable end in sight, it’s easy for an American to feel a sense of zen. I don’t live in Venezuela, Iran, Nigeria, Palestine, Yemen, or any other country that the US claims dominion over. For people there, one administration is no different from the other. Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Anywho! Happy new year!

Tricky dick

Yo! Shout out to Dick Cheney for dying. In addition to being the architect of the modern US surveillance state, he was instrumental in killing hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people across the Middle East, all while enriching himself. He really is the Darth Vader of American history, which is quite impressive considering the numerous villains that this nation has produced.

But what I find impressive in this exact moment is that the internet appears to have gained a memory. They haven’t forgotten the numerous crimes that the late Vice President committed. Remember when he shot a guy in the face? I did! But the internet, thankfully, did not. And there seems to be something fitting about Cheney dying in a moment like this. The Iraq War, after fading from the public mind for over 15 years, seems to have reentered the zeitgeist. This is probably due to the current administration threatening military action against Venezuela. The hypocrisy and tragedy of US foreign policy is back on the menu. Time truly is a flat circle.

But onto bigger news: Vanitas is nearly complete. Which means that we have reached an end of an era. The “James” epoch of this blog is over. I’ve toyed with resurrecting Detective James and considered a sequel to A Shot at the Title. But those ideas have been shelved and, most likely, will be buried in a desert where no one will hear or think of them again. Unlike the Iraq War and the crimes of Dick Cheney, the internet WILL forget.

Vanitas will be available for purchase on November 21st.

Dream on!

I’ve said before that I get some wild ass dreams. Maybe it’s the side effect of Cialis or maybe I should stop eating popcorn before I go to bed. But at any rate, these dreams can really fuck up my day.

The latest one involved the guys from Cum Town and an LSD trip that I won’t go into. But it got me thinking about the most fully fleshed out dream I’ve ever had.

About ten years ago, I dreamt about a dictator that summons his advisers to a dinner and everyone had to wear war paint. When the meal was served, the food is revealed to be the pieces of carcasses from the dictator’s vanquished enemies. One guys is served a dude’s face. This alarms the advisers who request foreign assistance to topple the dictatorship.

Obviously, the US responds by deploying an elite task force, led by a commander that was a drama major in college. Unfortunately, other nations have an interest in this country, so they too deploy special forces to take over the government. Without warning, the US task force is killed off by a competing nation and the commander is held captive. To make matters worse, even more competing nations pile into the country, escalating into an orgy of death and destruction.

Good news is: the dictator is killed. The bad news: the entire country is in ruins.

Of course, I’ve added more detail and commentary as time progressed. I really wanted to turn this into a novel, screenplay, etc. US military intervention was, at that particular moment, still a point of contention. Now that discussion has shifted (what a difference ten years makes) so I don’t know if I will ever flesh out this dream into a full blown story. But the nihilist in me still loves it: while outwardly it appears political, the story ultimately turns anti-political by devolving into pure action schlock. Everyone is a bad guy, so you root for everyone to die as you enjoy the spectacle of some poor nation getting blown the fuck up.

So please, somebody write this story into a book, movie, or whatever. Cuz I’m too lazy to do it.