Tag: dock Ellis

Welcome to the hall Dock

I think I owe my readers an apology. So far, the only two people inducted into the Real Ass Dude HoF have been a rage-addicted lunatic who became a legendary basketball coach and and ordinary joe who bowled a perfect game on 9/11. They earned their spots I must say. But if there’s one man who exemplifies the spirit of this prestigious hall the best, it is legendary MLB pitcher Dock Phillip Ellis Jr. The mistake I made was putting Robert Montgomery Knight in the hall before him.

That’s on me.

But Dock Ellis won a World Series title with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1971 and was a fierce advocate for his fellow African American players in the league. After retiring, he overcame drug addiction and assisted others on their road to sobriety. He died in 2008 at age 63. These things alone are enough to put Ellis in rarified air. He overcame social injustices and personal demons to thrive at the highest levels in professional baseball.

And in truth, that should be his real legacy.

But people today probably remember him best for a game on June 12th, 1970. While playing against the Padres in San Diego, Ellis pitched a no hitter. What made this achievement even more remarkable is that he did this while under the influence of LSD. This event is now canonized in baseball lore, and while it has been subject to scrutiny, Ellis’ retelling of it is stuff of legend. There’s nothing I can say here that could top what he and others have said and written about it. My advice to you, if you haven’t already done so, is to go see for yourself.

And it’s for these reasons why Dock Ellis is the third inductee into the Real Ass Dude Hall of Fame.

Where’s Beau?

So I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately. Questions like:

“Are you dead?”

“Are you taking a break?”

“Have you FINALLY given up on writing?”

And really the answer to all these inquiries are quite complicated. Of course I’m dead. I haven’t felt a thing since Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD in 1970. And I’m not really taking a break either.

I think what’s happening is that my brain has been fundamentally rewired. A lot’s happened over the last two months. For starters, I work 900 hours a week and I’m trying to get HOT (as in sexually attractive). Obviously that takes a lot of time.

Have I given up on writing altogether?

Not exactly. I’ll just say my writing activities have been…redirected towards other outlets (and that material will never see the light of day). It might be a minute before I return to writing fiction.

GOOD NEWS though: I’m mulling over giving the internet what they’ve been clamoring for. That is, of course, showing my penis on OnlyFans.