Just to be clear, I hate this story. But you’re making me do this.
I take no responsibility for the things I write.
John laid a dead boar, which he strangled with his hands, next to the fire. Him and Alyssa were lost. Their canoe was destroyed in some rapids and they were camping for the night by the river’s edge.
Their clothes were drying by the fire. While Alyssa was smart enough to pack a change of clothes, John was forced to wear a loincloth while he cut up the boar. Alyssa tried not to stare at his huge ballsack.
“Care for some boar?” he asked.
“No thank you. I’m a vegetarian.”
“That’s Liberal poppycock,” he said. “Man was meant to senselessly kill animals.”
Ignoring the comment, Alyssa noticed a scar near John’s abdomen. “How did you get that?” she asked.
“Vietnam,” he replied, “I got stabbed there behind a whorehouse 10 years ago.”
“What about the scar on your thigh?”
John started tearing into the boar’s leg with his teeth. Blood was dripping down his chin, past his neck, and onto his man chest. Alyssa tried to keep her passions at bay. She had never before witnessed such a specimen of manliness.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked him.
“Hmm,” John pondered. “I think so. I was in an arranged marriage while I was in a Satanic cult. But I haven’t had sex…with a woman…since then.”
“Do you ever want to get married?”
John read between the lines and started to smile. “Well,” he began, “I haven’t found a woman that can handle me yet.”
Alyssa chuckled. “I’m glad that I’m lost in the wilderness with you,” she said.
Moments later, the two heard a faint sound of a banjo. Alyssa was slightly unnerved. “Relax,” John said, “nothing out here can hurt us.”
The sound continued to get louder.
Before they could respond, three men with shotguns stood outside of their camp. They were rednecks, hillbillies. They wore no sleeves and their teeth were rotting out of their faces.
“Hey there, that’s a pretty girl you got,” one of them said.
“Don’t touch her,” John said.
“It’s not her we want,” another said as he walked up to John. “We just want a slice of that meat.”
John reached for his Bowie knife, but the first redneck lowered his gun. “Don’t think about it,” the man told him. The second man grabbed Alyssa then he tied her to a tree with a belt around her neck.
The ugliest redneck ordered John to stand up. “Now gimme that meat,” he said.
John’s back was turn towards Alyssa. The ugly man dropped to his knees then ripped away his loincloth. John’s buttcheeks were exposed to everyone. The two other men were cackling uncontrollably with their shotguns aimed at a helpless Alyssa.
She could see the ugly redneck’s face while he was on his knees. He had a look of surprise. But before he could react, John grabbed his head and put his mouth up to his crotch. The man began to gurgle.
“Now wait a minute,” one of the his buddies began to yell.
John turned around, swinging the ugly redneck with him. He was choking the man…with his penis down his throat.
“Let the girl go!” John yelled.
“The fuck’s wrong with you?” another replied.
Finally the redneck turned blue and John let him fall to the ground. Before the other rednecks could get off a shot, a buck naked John grabbed the dead man’s shotgun. When he fired, a redneck’s brains were splattered all over Alyssa’s face.
The last surviving redneck began to panic. He missed John completely with his erratic shooting. As he lost sight of the naked man, he dropped to the ground.
“I got your girl man!” the redneck yelled. But John snuck up behind him with his Bowie knife.
“Drop the gun,” John ordered. The man complied and began to uncontrollably piss himself.
“I’m sorry,” the redneck said weeping.
“Only God forgives,” John replied. Then he slit his throat.
Blood once again splattered all over Alyssa’s face.
After untying Alyssa from the tree, John dragged the three bodies into the river. “I swear, my penis wasn’t erect when it was in that man’s mouth,” he told her.
Alyssa was shaking from all the excitement. A still naked, blood soaked John kneeled in front of her and took her hands. “I’m sorry you had to see all of that,” he said.
“I’ve never seen something like that,” she replied.
“A man’s head get blown clean off?”
“No, your gargantuan p-p…”
“Penis? Yes, it’s 14 inches. Girth of about 5. Or 5.27 inches to be precise. Doctors said that I would never achieve a full erection. It takes too much blood flow. That’s why I don’t have a girlfriend. Oh the burdens I carry with such power.”
John stood up and grabbed a bag of trail mix. “Care for some nuts?” he asked.
Alyssa ran up to John and wrapped her arms around him. “Stay with me tonight,” she said, “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Alright,” he replied as he munched on some cashews, “but it’s supposed to be cold tonight. To keep warm, we must sleep completely nude under a sleeping bag.”
Alyssa nodded and stripped off her clothes. It was the first time she was ever naked in front of a man. Meanwhile, John continued to shovel cashews into his mouth.
Alyssa climbed into the sleeping bag and John followed after. They laid together cheek to cheek…ass cheek to ass cheek that is…and she enjoyed the warmth emanating from his body.
“John, I got to tell you,” Alyssa said, “I’ve waited my entire life to meet a man like you. I know we’re not married, but I want you to take me. Take me here. Please.”
A loud fart bellowed from underneath the sleeping bag. John was fast asleep. Disappointed, Alyssa continued to lay there, wishing…
…wishing to feel his arms around her.
TO BE CONTINUED….