Tag: blogging

don’t go suckin my cock

First off, shout out to whoever is reading this blog. Views have EXPLODED for some inexplicable reason, which leads me to assume one of three things:

  1. I have a stalker on the loose
  2. I’ve attracted the bots
  3. The world is finally recognizing my genius

Obviously option three is the most sensible explanation. I feel honored and vindicated. It’s nice to know that I haven’t wasted hours of my life and millions of words on what has amounted to nothing more than a vanity project. I should be thanking the readers. But instead I’m gonna thank myself for all the blood, sweat, tears and occasionally jizz I’ve poured into this blog. I really am a once in a generation talent.

To all the aspiring writers out there, I would say keep your head up and work hard. But the truth is that artistic genius is the secret ingredient. You either have it or you don’t. And it’s highly likely that you don’t. So instead of pursuing your dreams, I say that you should give up on them. Find something you’re good at. Get a 9 to 5. Marry that girl who dumped you your junior year and spent several months in county and is now on the mend. Have her pop out a fifth child (first for you). Grow your alcohol dependency and live a shallow life until you die of heart failure at age 62. There’s nothing wrong with mediocrity. I mean, that life sounds pathetic to me but it might be right for you.

But thank you to all for the views 🙏 you all are the real ones

Bear with me

I will get caught up on all the blogs I follow over the next few days. Believe it or not, I actually read and appreciate everyone’s work and have never blindly ‘liked’ a post in my life. We must have honor amongst bloggers.

Things are beginning to settle out with my new job. Soon I will be able to slack off for 10 hours where I can focus all of my attention on this blog.

Thank you for your patience.

internet ruined everything: season 2 premiere

It’s been a year since I made my first post on this train wreck of a blog.

I’d like to thank myself for writing all of it. Of course, you guys did your part by reading this crap. I didn’t think there would be an audience for pointless blogs where I try to say ‘penis’ as much as possible.

But here we are…on to year 2 of this experiment.

Yeah, this website has gone downhill the last four months. But things will change, I promise! I just graduated from toilet college and I’m about to finish up with this other project (I will elaborate on this later). So no more distractions!

For season 2, I guarantee that there will be more penises, asses, fucks, shits, boobs, vaginas, ballsacks, you name it.

Flash fiction is sort of my bread and butter. And I miss writing it. So just hang with me for a bit. Or don’t! I ain’t your boss. But I promise more of the good stuff 😉

So here’s to Season 2 🍻!

Penis

update

Bad news: the blog’s gone downhill and I’m powerless to do anything about it.

Good news: I’ve updated the website format.

As for the quality of content, sorry. I’ve been going through writer’s block since the beginning of September. Don’t know what to do about it. I’m gonna write till something hits. Maybe a change in format will polish this turd up.

So the shit posts will keep flowing. Oh well 🤷‍♂️

update on my whereabouts

So I escaped from my captors and I am now on the run. Heads up: the Turkish mafia don’t fuck around.

Anyways, I’ve been getting into photography and videography, that kind of bullshit. But I’m a novice.

I’d like to slowly start introducing some of that crap to the blog. Any helpful advice would be appreciated.

I’m probably going to start renting some stuff soon.

Look, the truth is I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be 94 in December. And it’s been my dream to produce a film, a short, web series, whatever.

So we’ll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I’ll be checking my vehicle for car bombs.

Peace and Love 😘