Tag: Around the NFL

The throwback podcast with Dan Hanzus and Bob Castrone

Folks, everyday I think that this could be my last post before the filthy hordes storm into my home and pry my fingers from the keyboard before summarily executing me by firing squad. Few events could trigger such a travesty, but I think one happened today: the death of Richard Simmons. I’m just not sure the world is ready for his passing.

But in such troubling times, there’s a voice that I always turn to. And that voice is Dan Hanzus, formally of the Around the NFL podcast. And let me get this out of the way: I stated previously that I thought Hanzus was an “asshole”, comparing him to Nick Mullen of Cumtown and Mike Stoklasa of Red Letter Media, but allow me to amend this accusation. Unlike Mullen and Stoklasa, I think Hanzus has a method to his madness. He isn’t trying to trigger his peers because he’s an “asshole” generally, like Mullen, or because he perverse preoccupation with torturing his friends, like Stoklasa. Hanzus is aiming for something higher: he’s trying to bring out the best of his cohosts. This is abundantly clear in Around the NFL, often elevating the poeticism of Marc Sessler and analytical abilities of Gregg Rosenthal. Not that these men weren’t geniuses at their craft already, but they needed that push from Hanzus to create an entertaining podcast that connected with audiences around the world. He was the glue that held that show together. In that respect, Hanzus isn’t an asshole at all; he’s an expert journalist and interviewer who knows how to get the best out of his subjects.

With Around the NFL gone, I needed that voice in my life. So I did some digging and found Hanzus’ other project The Throwback Podcast. I didn’t know what to expect and to be honest I found the subject was not to my taste. Hanzus and his co-host, lifelong buddy Bob Castrone, were both born in 1980 and grew up outside NYC. Their discussions generally focus on the music that shaped their upbringing. This means deep dives into sounds of the 90s, usually grunge and alternative. I’ve never made my opinions of this era a secret: while the music of the late 70s/80s often fell into self-congratulatory range with its emphasis on overproduction, the 90s course corrected and sucked it’s own dick with its stripped down sound. While we’re all partial to the music we grew up with, the 1990s was as guilty of committing the same crimes as the artists they were responding to except they weren’t having near as much fun. In short, I feel that the last decade of the 20th century is the worst era of pop culture. This is a hill I will die on. With that said, I was intrigued by many of Hanzus’ and Castrone’s discussions, particularly regarding the forgotten legacy of Collective Soul. The question as to why they’re not a more cherished band is worth investigating. But it’s not the subject matter that intrigued me about the podcast.

What struck me is that Hanzus is more at home here, naturally I suppose. While I mostly knew him as a football guy, it’s refreshing to hear his views not just on music but on a variety of subjects. Hanzus is man of feeling and opinions and when comparing this podcast to Around the NFL, it seems that Hanzus might’ve been too constrained by helming a show owned by a multibillion dollar corporation. I like the Throwback Podcast version of him.

Nay…I PREFER it.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that the “MAY 05-Modern Rock Countdown” is the finest hour and a half in podcast history. This might be because there’s some overlap in our taste of music I’ll admit. I might be letting the guard down when I say that I’m a few years younger than these guys, but the summers of 05 and 06 were big moments for me and the music they discuss played a big role. But that’s not where this episode shined. Hanzus is at his best here when he gets his friend to discuss a very personal moment during the summer of 05. It’s a reminder of how music really connects us to certain time and place. I was beyond moved by their vulnerability. Of course, a running theme in my writing is toxic masculinity and male friendships so this particularly struck a chord with me. And it’s that very kernel of truth, in my view, that resides at the heart of the Throwback Podcast.

So I implore Dan Hanzus, if and when he reads this, now that his career with NFL Media being seemingly over, that he pursues this kind of endeavor. The world needs more of it.

End of an era

Not for the first time, but the NFL really shit the bed this off season. Of course I’m referring to the cancellation of the Around the NFL podcast featuring the talent of Dan Hanzus, Marc Sessler, Gregg Rosenthal, and the late great Chris Wessling. Last year I watched a grand total of zero hours of football but I still managed to catch every episode of Around the NFL.

Brandon Perna discusses the importance and appeal of Around the NFL so I won’t go into that. Instead I wish to piss and moan over the decline and fall of my favorite podcasts/shows featuring three or more male friends discussing shit. In this regard, Around the NFL is on the Mount Rushmore along with Cumtown and Red Letter Media.

Cumtown ended a couple of years ago, leaving Red Letter Media as the lone survivor. So everyone say a prayer for Mike Stoklasa and Rich Evans to not succumb to alcohol poisoning and diabetes.

I don’t think people appreciate how difficult it is to achieve what Marc Sessler, Dan Hanzus, Gregg Rosenthal, Chris Wesseling, Nick Mullen, Stavros Halkias, Adam Friedland, Mike Stoklasa, Rich Evans, and Jay Bauman have all achieved. Any group of random assholes can get together and create a podcast. But it takes a special chemistry to achieve greatness. No doubt there are countless podcasts featuring lifelong friends discussing their passions and almost all of them suck. So what made these guys different?

As you will find in any male friendship groups, there’s always the alpha. Not that anyone thinks of him as the alpha, he just so happens to be the biggest asshole of the group. The other friends just go along with his psychotic behavior to avoid incurring his wrath. In our case, that’s Dan Hanzus for Around the NFL, Nick Mullen for Cumtown, and Mike Stoklasa for Red Letter Media. This is where other podcasts/youtube channels get in trouble; the “alpha” lacks any semblance of self-awareness and treat their platform as a means to enact their inferiority complex (like Adam Carolla)

Equally important to our viewing experience is the “omega” or the guy that everyone shits on. In other words, this is Marc Sessler for NFL, Adam Friedland for Cumtown, and Rich Evans for Red Letter Media. Far be it from this individual being a laughingstock, they usually develop the fervent following among the listenership.

This balance is nearly impossible to achieve. Only the most talented, good looking, sexiest, thick dicked men can get it done, and that’s every guy on the list above (except Adam Friedland). And with Around the NFL gone, this leaves on Red Letter Media to carry on the mantle.