Since when did it become illegal to clog the toilet at Qdoba? Am I the asshole for getting drunk and disorderly at Chuck E Cheese? And why do I have to wear a shirt to go into the DMV?
Only god can judge me. Not the Los Angeles County Traffic Court!
Shit’s got real. While the rest of you will be drinking and driving your way into the next year, I’ll be making battle plans.
You see, management at the toilet factory has declared war on its employees and the future of toilets hangs in the balance. Lines have been drawn, friends are now enemies, and enemies are now friends.
Not gonna lie, I may not survive.
So next time you pull down your pants and take a shit, think of me; think of all the workers that have made it possible for you to lay a turd in a bowl of water and then flush that shit water down into a sewer. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into making the modern world possible. Gone are the days where we throw our shit and piss onto the streets and cause the Bubonic plague.
So hug your families, celebrate with friends, and wipe your ass carefree knowing that there’s a thin brown line of workers standing between you and the bubonic plague.
God Bless America
Happy New Year
“You shouldn’t drink out of the toilet,” my doctor says.
this is where the tyranny begins folks. What’s he gonna say next? Stop exposing my penis at Home Depot?
#standyourground
Besides, as all of you know, I refuse to breathe the same shit-reeked air that all you plebs breath in. When I do my shopping, I hold my breath in and sprint through the grocery store before passing out.
You think I’m afraid of some VIRUS?!
Well guess what PAL….I survived aids!
TWICE!
The Internet Ruined Everything 