Something’s off

After shitting the bed one too many times, Alex Kurtzman and company finally did something right with the first season of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Then, almost as if we’re in the Twilight Zone, they went out on a high note with the third season of Picard. It seemed like Kurtzman finally had this Star Trek stuff figured out and for the first time in awhile, the future of the franchise looked bright.

And maybe it still is. But considering Prodigy and Discovery got (mercifully) axed, it’s now up to Strange New Worlds to carry the banner (Lower Decks doesn’t exist in my eyes). The first season was solid, not great, but it seemed like writers figured out that you don’t have to do too much to tell a good Star Trek story.

Thankfully they’re still doing that. Unfortunately the writing has regressed in a way that’s difficult to put my finger on. Season 2 is simply poorly written. Not in a stupid Alex Kurtzman way, it’s just plain bad.

Truth be told, I hardly remember the first episode other than I cringed a lot. I love Carol Kane. But her character is straight up annoying. And the fan service is unnecessary. Stealing the Enterprise?! Where have we seen THAT before?!

The second episode was marginally better: a simple courtroom case to determine the fate of first officer Una Chin-Riley. Obviously they were going for a Measure of a Man vibe, but it was a little too on the nose. Star Trek has a history of doing courtroom drama, almost ALL of it good. Additionally, courtroom drama should be the easiest thing for a television writer to produce; everything is front and center and self-contained. The gold standard for Star Trek courtroom drama is, of course, The Measure of a Man, but what was brilliant about it was that it contained five actors and showcased Patrick Stewart’s acting skills. It was amazingly simple. In SNW S2 Ep. 2, there was too much focus on interpersonal drama and the speeches went on far too long. Perhaps if they waited later in the season to have this court case, it might’ve been more impactful. But where it stands, the episode fell flat.

But what really pissed me off was the third episode. Going back in time to present day Toronto (where the show is conveniently filmed)? Lame. And more fan service bullshit by introducing child Khan? Yes, Star Trek II is an incredible movie but it’s time to let it go. But there’s also the issue of Paul Wesley as James T. Kirk.

Wesley seems like a competent actor and a nice guy. But let’s be frank: no one is sold on him being the greatest Captain in Starfleet history. And I don’t think it’s his fault. No one in Kurtzman’s production team has probably told him how to play the role.

As I’ve said a million times before, William Shatner is actually a great actor. He understood that when you play a Starfleet captain, you’re playing two roles: the captain and the man. Patrick Stewart and Avery Brooks understood this too. When you play the captain, it’s okay to be over the top and hammy; being in command of a ship is a performance in itself. The drama occurs when the captain doesn’t know when to drop the facade.

I don’t think Chris Pine does this with his interpretation of Kirk, but he has a unique charisma of his own. Plus he has the luxury of playing an alternate Kirk. Wesley is playing the OG Kirk. While I understand that he doesn’t want to mimic William Shatner, I’m just suggesting that he probably needs to. Don’t be afraid to speak in Shatner’s unusual cadence. It’s actually a VERY effective way of communicating. It’s theatrical, it’s bold, it’s memorable…just like James T. Kirk!

Could’ve been worse

I was on the edge of my seat throughout Picard Season 3. Not because I found the story itself particularly thrilling, but because I was waiting for the writers and producers to shit the bed at any moment.

But it never happened.

And for that alone, the third and final season of Star Trek: Picard can be deemed a success. Yes, the bar has been set that low.

Actually, I’m going to something that I swore I’d never do: defend Alex Kurtzman. ACTUALLY…fuck that: I’m going to defend the decision to bring back the Borg, which is a decision I presume Alex Kurtzman fully supported.

To be honest, I’m a little disappointed that the Changelings weren’t made the main villain as I was quite excited to see them return. And I agree with most fans that between Voyager and the first couple of seasons of Picard that the Borg are mostly played out. BUT, being as they were the main villains during Berman-era Trek, I feel pretty content with how they were closed out in Picard: in one last standoff with the Enterprise D.

But, I guess they’re gone now (I don’t know for sure because I refuse to watch Picard season 2), so it’s time to push Star Trek forward. The franchise’s new savior is Terry Matalas, who is apparently pushing for Star Trek: Legacy, which if the last episode of Picard is any indication, will star Seven of Nine as captain of the Enterprise G, her former lover Raffi as her first officer, and Jack Crusher…Picard’s son…as a “counselor to the captain” or some shit.

Speaking of Jack Crusher, the writers could’ve done better and the actor kinda overplayed it. Yet somehow I don’t absolutely hate him 👍.

So I guess I’ll continue letting Paramount steal money from my wallet so that I can watch the adventures of Captain Seven (or is it Captain “of Nine”?)

Picard Season 3

It’s been an emotional week for me. And that could be a part of the problem: Star Trek: Picard season 3 caught me at the right time.

I don’t think I’ve ever properly explained the impact that TNG made on my childhood. Without it, everything might’ve been different. Perhaps I would have been able to able to live out my dream of being a Las Vegas lounge singer in Carson City. Who knows? But alas, I watched it and now nearly 30 years after the show ended, I’m about to initiate mutually assured destruction with my employer. C’est la vie.

Now after the shitshow that was Picard seasons 1 and 2, the question we should ask ourselves is: “what makes us think that season three would be any different?”. And I’m not entirely sure I have a satisfying response. We’re only two episodes in for fuck’s sake.

But I will say this: season three already feels a bit dialed back. This is a good thing. If I’ve said this once, I’ve said it a million times: Star Trek works best on limited budget, reliant on big emotions and intriguing science fiction dilemmas.

NuTrek, however, has basically abandoned the “intriguing science fiction dilemmas” part in favor of intergalactic politics. Which is fine. That could be interesting, but in NuTrek, the United Federation of Planets usually comes across as just another dirty player on the chess board. This unfortunately contradicts everything that made Star Trek appealing to sci-fi fans initially.

Fortunately in the Trek-verse there’s a film called Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan which is usually considered the franchise’s finest hour. While the plot does involve a science fiction macguffin, the story itself is about aging, friendship, family, loss, and revenge. In short, it’s a space opera.

So if you’re a NuTrek producer and you know that the quality of your product has been shit the past two seasons, what do you do? The answer is you steal from the best. While The Next Generation films are considered a disappointment, we’re finally given a real taste of what that universe would look like had Rick Berman and company handled the movies properly, albeit on Paramount+. And in my view, kudos to Alex Kurtzman and Terry Matalas for unapologetically ripping off Star Trek II.

In fact, they’re not only ripping off Star Trek II, but they’re ripping off the entirety of the TOS movies right down to lines of dialogue and sound effects. And I don’t have a problem with any of it.

This means that someone from the TNG crew…probably Picard…will get a glorious death scene and I am not prepared for it. In fact, I nearly cried when they started using the First Contact theme, which is one of my favorites, for the end credits.

Despite all of my bitching about NuTrek, if producers keep up the quality from the first two episodes, then guys…I’m telling you: I’m just not ready for it to end.

Strange New Worlds. it’s pretty good 😔

So I guess I owe Alex Kurtzman an apology.

I was reading an article somewhere by someone that ranked all the Star Trek TV series. They placed placed SNW at #3.

Already.

Only four episodes have aired.

But here’s the sad part: I’d rank it there too 😔

Yes, SNW is pretty damn good. I’m ashamed to admit it. The nerds may nitpick the series to death. They may question its science or its adherence to canon. They may bitch about nuTrek being too “woke” (Star Trek’s always been woke). They, like me, may never want to admit Alex Kurtzman finally did something right. But they know in their hearts: SNW is quality Star Trek.

I knew Star Trek had a JJ Abrams/Alex Kurtzman problem when Into Darkness went into production a little late because, it seemed, they just straight up forgot about it. And the final product was predictably shit.

That’s when I came to the conclusion that Star Trek should have died with the ending of Enterprise. OR they should have waited longer than 5 years to reboot the franchise.

ST just wasn’t out of the public consciousness long enough to make much of an impact, I felt. And to be honest, I still kinda feel that way.

Can you imagine if Paramount waited until NOW to reboot Star Trek?

We probably would have been given an “R-rated” treatment directed by Denis Villanueva, where the 24th Century would have been presented as completely alien to the 21st Century audiences. Probably graphic violence and nudity galore as Starfleet officers take it all in stride due to Vulcan, stoic ideals permeating the Federation.

It was a missed opportunity tbh because Paramount wanted to continue exploiting the pockets of Trek fans.

But, finally, 13 years after ST09, we finally get quality Star Trek. 👍

meh

My news feed has been buzzing the last 24 hours. More so than usual. No, it has nothing to do with the Russians possibly invading Ukraine. It’s the announcement of a fourth “Kelvin Timeline” Star Trek film.

Unlike most Star Trek fans, I am content with saying that Star Trek died with the last episode of Enterprise. And we all owe Rick Berman an apology (even though he sounds like a legit asshole).

So I don’t give a shit about this new film (written by a bunch of writers whose work I also don’t give a shit about). 🚨 Spoiler Alert 🚨: it’s gonna suck.

How do I know?

Let me tell you about two men named JJ Abrams and Alex Kurtzman.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be too harsh. They did revive Trek. Because of them, there are four…about to be five…Star Trek shows airing. Audiences change. As ridiculous as it sounds now, TOS fans were reluctant to accept TNG.

Now I’m a TNG fan that’s reluctant to accept Kurtzman Trek.

The thing that TOS and TNG had in common though is one VERY important thing: Gene Roddenberry. And Roddenberry was succeeded by Rick Berman, who was hellbent on carrying out his predecessor’s vision.

No such chain of succession with this new Trek.

JJ Abrams did do one thing right though: the first 10 minutes of Star Trek 09. And that kinda highlights my biggest gripe with this current set of producers: they are Kliff Kingsbury of Star Trek.

All three movies, plus Picard, plus Discovery, start off fairly strong in their opening acts (or first few episodes) and then inexplicably derail into a total train wreck.

Moreover, this new “cinematic” feel to Star Trek just doesn’t…feel right. Trek works best on a shoestring budget, phenomenal writing, and the perfect casting. Case in point: Wrath of Khan. It is probably the Trek film with the smallest budget, but it’s also considered the best.

There’s a Shakespearean, theater-like quality to the Roddenberry/Berman-era Trek that, I think, many fans find appealing (even if we didn’t appreciate it at the time).

Of course, those days of television and movies are over (in part, due to JJ Abrams’ impact on the industry) and that’s okay. Things change.

Which is why we must let Star Trek go.