If y’all can remember, Eric Bana was “officially” announced as James Bond by several major news networks prior to the naming of Daniel Craig. So while nothing, insofar as I can tell, has been released by the Broccolis or Eon Productions regarding the casting of the next James Bond, I think there’s enough smoke around Aaron Taylor-Johnson that we can safely assume he’s probably the new 007. If not, then it’s April Fools’ Day, so…April Fools.

But I support this choice for a few reasons. For starters, he has a pretty big penis. And secondly, his wife is over 20 years older than him. So salute. But that’s enough about the man himself. How would he perform as the world’s most famous secret agent?

I should state that I’ve only seen Taylor-Johnson in two movies. So maybe I don’t have the most informed opinion on his abilities. But he looks like the kind of guy that can handle the humor.

I’ve been revisiting some of the Roger Moore films. While he’s not my favorite Bond, nor my second favorite, and probably not my third favorite, he did bring a certain levity to those movies that I miss. If I have a criticism of Craig, and there’s not many, is that he might have been too much a brute. As much as it pains me to say, Craig was far from the funniest Bond. But what he restored to the part was a sense of danger which was sorely missed during the Moore and Brosnan eras. That’s one aspect from Craig years I hope the producers don’t jettison. As obvious as it seems now, James Bond needs to LOOK like he can handle himself in a fight.

Taylor-Johnson, again, coming from an uninformed opinion, appears like he’s the best of both worlds: both bruteness and levity, which seems like a nice change of pace given our current times.

And he has a big penis.