Judgement Day
As the internet is well aware, after the ill advised firing of Mike Vrabel by the Tennessee Titans, I renounced my fandom for NFL franchise in Nashville and proclaimed my allegiance to new titans of mediocrity in Los Angeles, the Chargers. So far, that decision has paid off in spades. Yet Tennessee still had one…
Mer Rouge (Part 14)
The inmates piled out of the old army truck with the urgency of a platoon going into battle. Everyone knew right where they were supposed to be. All except for Hutch. When his feet hit the ground, his instinct was to follow Moses. But a deputy lowered his shotgun to block his path. “Not so…
Mer Rouge (Part 13)
Midday. Outside of the tool crib under the lingering sun, Fornier shoved a shovel into Hutch’s chest. Hutch gripped the handle and raised an eyebrow and voiced his concern. “The fuck is this?” he asked. The sheriff chewed his loose leaf tobacco and spat. “You ain’t never seen a shovel before?” “I mean, I have.…
Tf is this shjt?
So I walk into Waffle House. I sit at the bar. The server asks what I want. I say coffee. He brings me a coffee. Then he asks what I want to eat. I said I hadn’t decided. He says take your time. So I take my time. Then he comes back. I tell him…
What a great day
The weather’s warmer. Just got out of jail. Have $27 in my pocket. And my stool sample came back negative for dysentery. But the best part? No new war has been instigated by the United States that bears an alarming similarity with another disastrous war instigated 20 years prior. It’s like after 300,000 years of…
Mer Rouge (part 12)
Deputy Fornier strolled out of the holding cell twirling the baton. He marched right into the precinct break room, poured a coffee into a white styrofoam cup and took it into the bathroom. After dropping a massive shit, he flushed the toilet and reentered the break area where fellow Deputy Simpson glared at him. “Droppin…
Mer Rouge (Part 11)
Hutch’s dream was interrupted by a warm and repugnant stream trickling down his face. His eyes opened to see a penis shoved between two bars and dangling over him. It was releasing a heavy torrent of piss. Instinctively, Hutch reached up to grab the drooping pecker. But the pecker’s keeper, a lowly sheriff’s deputy, jumped…
Evolution
I used to think that Substack was for pretentious assholes—an asylum for failed journos and pissy contrarians. But then it occurred to me; maybe I’m a pretentious asshole. Quite honestly I feel the weight of stagnation flowing through me. Like I’ve taken this webpage as far as it can go. Perhaps it’s time to make…
Bobby Duvall by the numbers
Robert Duvall was in 9,047 movies. ALL of them good. To top it off, he was the best part of each one of them. Yes, ESPECIALLY The Godfather. But I don’t think we’ve stopped and appreciated how good Bobby Duvall was. Was he the greatest screen actor of all time? The question is not as…
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