The shit water cascaded down the bowl and onto the cold tiled floor like brownish rapids over the Armagosa. Oren was helpless to do anything about it. His brother had a cursed ass which shat out turds as thick as tungsten and wide as a rolling pin. Feeling helpless, the elder brother wanted to shake his fist at the heavens for this family curse, yet the comfort of depression sat in knowing this was his cross to carry. Then, seeming unbothered, the younger brother looked to his distressed sibling. “I tried to courtesy flush,” explained Hutch. “But it all came out in one piece. My sphincter wasn’t strong enough to break it up.” 

He was splayed out across the bed while thumbing through the latest issue of Hot Rod. 

Oren rubbed his hand over his chin and thought. He stood at the threshold of the bathroom as the water inched towards his feet. Finally the toilet completed the filling cycle and the full gravity of wretched stench ass filled his nostrils. Oren winced. “Christ,” he said aloud. But he assessed the damage and concluded it was manageable. Braving the elements, he stepped into the inch-thick pool of boo-boo water and searched for a plunger, first under the sink and then by the toilet. Nothing. Oren exited the bathroom and wiped bits of shit and toilet paper from the bottom of his boots onto the nylon carpet. 

“Go to the lobby and ask for a plunger,” he ordered Hutch. “I’ll try to get this shit cleaned up.”

“But what do I say?”

“You walk up to the guy at the front desk and ask him if he has a plunger.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Goddamn, Hutch!”

“Can’t this wait until tomorrow?!”

“If room service comes in here tomorrow and sees your shit on the floor, we’re gonna get kicked out of yet another hotel room!”

“But I’m afraid!”

“Afraid of what?!”

“That the hotel man will get mad at me.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Hutch! Just come with me!”

Hutch climbed off the bed and followed Oren down the hallway and into the lobby. The man at the front desk was tall. Lean. He was hunched over the desk and heavily engaged in the latest issue of Water Fowler magazine. He hardly looked up to see the two brothers approach him. “It chaps my ass that duck hunting season is over,” the receptionist said. He didn’t take his eyes off the magazine.

“Yeah that sucks,” said Oren. “Do you got a plunger?”

“Did you boys clog the shitter?”

“Yeah but it’s not too bad.”

“Well shit. Let me look back here.”

The hotel man lowered the mag and leisurely looked behind the desk. After five seconds of searching, the man shrugged. “Don’t look like we have nothin back here,” he explained. “Maintence won’t be here until Monday mornin. How bad is it?”

“Its not bad. Look, is there a hardware store near here?”

The hotel man closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his few wisps of hair. It appeared he was about to have an aneurysm. “I don’t reckon,” the man said. “Unless you want to head into Morehouse Parish.”

“Across the border?”

“Yessir.”

“Can you give me the name of the town?”

“Yessir. It’s some piss hole called Mer Rouge.”

TO BE CONTINUED…