I’m becoming way too powerful. And it has nothing to do with my undiagnosed bipolar and megalomaniacal personality disorder. Every shit that I had to give is gone. I shit them all out. The toilet bowl overfloweth with clogged shit. And that makes me powerful. Perhaps too powerful. I can’t be stopped. I’ve reached heights that Buddha himself couldn’t have imagined. I’m at the tippy top, the zenith—the summit of Everest—of not giving a fuck.
Hair plugs? Got em
Dodge Ram 2500 WITH tinted windows? Signed the lease.
Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum? Wouldn’t issue a permit.
Cocaine? Haven’t slept since Tuesday.
I can’t be stopped. Not by you. Not by god. Not by the law. Not by the laws of physics. I’m a behemoth—a monster of Homeric proportions. The fate of this world and the next rest in my hands. Think you can stop me? Wanna piece of this? Meet me at the Denny’s parking lot in Bismarck, North Dakota at 4:02pm on Friday. If I’m not there, come back next week! Bitch!
The Internet Ruined Everything 