In my ongoing blood feud with Amazon.com CEO Jeffrey Bezos, the billionaire has made me a laughing stock by publishing my latest book Vanitas (available on Amazon.com) in the size of a goddamn college textbook. You could say I’m partially to blame because I “don’t understand how dimensions work”. But we all know that’s bullshit.
Bezos set me up for failure. Plain and simple.
Now I could theoretically go back on Amazon KDP and adjust the dimensions to make the physical copy more aligned with a traditional paperback size. But that would be admitting defeat. I don’t make mistakes. Every action I take is a highly calculated and I execute it without error. This time is no different.
Jeff Bezos thought he lured me into making an error. But the truth is he was an unwitting agent working on my behalf. In other words, while he was playing checkers, I was playing 4D Chess. Confused? Let me walk you through this. When Vanitas was published, Bezos thought he was confusing me with all these “dimensions” to choose from (16×9, 6×9, 420×69, etc). But little did he know that Vanitas was such a perfect product that it didn’t matter what size the physical copy would be. IN FACT, the larger the better. Because if Hollywood comes a-callin’, Vanitas would be automatically available in script size. So BAM! I just saved producers time AND money.
THAT’S called thinking four steps ahead! THAT’S called being a genius! So checkmate you bald bastard!
Get your copy of Vanitas TODAY at Amazon.com!
The Internet Ruined Everything 