And yet another shot at the title (part xxxv)

After dinner, which was huevos rancheros, Slick Rick tried to tell me about his six year old daughter whose name was Sandy, or Sally, or Shannon or some shit. “She’s already in Mensa!” he proudly said.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” I told him. “Where’s Cornelius?”

Rick shrugged. “His room probably.”

So I sauntered upstairs to his son’s room where I found Cornelius shouting antiquated racial slurs to some Polish kids over his headset. He was playing some shoot-em-up game on his PS19. The room was littered with grape soda bottles and reeked of piss.

“Knock knock,” I said.

“Sup,” Cornelius replied without taking his eyes off the game.

“So being as I’m probably your grandpa and all, I was wondering if you’d like to come on set for the next movie I’m about to shoot.”

“Will there be bare titties there?” he said, eyes still glued to the screen.

“You know it,” I told him. “And afterwards, you can come to my house in the hills and I’ll show you my massive Penthouse collection.”

“Do you have the old ones where the girls have massive bushes?”

“Of course.”

“Hmm,” Cornelius pondered. “Yeah I guess.”

“Great!” I exclaimed. “I’ll have a limo pick you up next Tuesday and take you to Burbank!”

“Whatever dude.”

“I’ll see you next week.”

“Sure.”

TO BE CONTINUED…