Dan and I decided to calm ourselves by gnawing on some Ding Dong’s we pulled from the vending machine. By that point I had resigned myself to my fate: In just a matter of hours, I would be laying in pool of my own blood in the basement.
“It was a good run,” I told Dan. “Sure, thousands, if not millions, of people died due to my ill advised business ventures. But hey, at least I made a few good films.”
Dan was clearly exhausted. His eyes were still bloodshot from all the crying. “You can’t give up,” he said.
“What other option do we have?” I shrugged. “Let’s face it, I’ve lost my fight. I’m an old dog waiting to be put out of its misery. Let’s just go back into the courtroom and tell Jimmy he’ll have his filthy $52 billion by the end of the day.”
“As your attorney, I suggest we throw up more smoke and mirrors until we come up with another plan,” Dan advised.
“Nah, fuck it. I’m ready to die.”
“Look,” Dan firmly stated, “we have a few more minutes before court’s back in session. Let me take a shit then we’ll discuss this further.”
Dan stood up, ass clinched, and waddled into the bathroom. I walked out to the courthouse steps. I took a deep breath of the smog filled air and admired the trash-littered scenery of Los Angeles. Life becomes a bit more sweeter when you know you’re about to die; You think about to your loved ones and enemies alike, all the people who have wronged you in the past are forgiven. I no longer desired to strangle the Chick-fil-A®️ manager. My preoccupation with wanting to violently murder Dennis Hopper faded away. I was completely emptied of the hatred that weighed me down for so many years.
In that singular moment, everything clicked. Life is beautiful, I thought.
“James,” a sweet voice said behind me.
Then it all changed.
“Cassandra,” I blankly stated. “What are you doing here?”
Cassandra bashfully stepped forward. “I heard Shapiro is Jimmy’s attorney,” she explained. “He’s in on all of this too.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
The Internet Ruined Everything 