So I was just minding my own business and crying in a corner when I received an urgent call from a boss I had from years back.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, this is your boss you had from years back and I’ve been thinking: I can’t stop thinking about you,” he explained.
“Oh?” I responded.
“So I was wondering…,” the voice continued to stammer, “would you like to come back and work for us? I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss your smell, I miss the way you giggle, I miss that fine ass of yours…”
“Well,” I said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about you too. Sometimes I stay up late touching myself…” ANYWAYS… “….yeah sure I’ll come back and work for you,” I replied. “What’s the pay?”
“$4.00 an hour plus an endless supply of Waffle House gift cards.”
“Goddamnit,” I said. “Alright, I’ll do it.”
So now I’m onto my fourth job of the year 👍
The Internet Ruined Everything 