Yeah so I was just walking through the neighborhood, minding my own business while playing ding dong ditch, when an ice cream truck rolled by. It had been awhile since I’ve seen one so I flagged him down.
“It’s nice to see ice cream trucks coming back through the neighborhood,” I told the man.
“That’s good to hear,” he said. “What can I get ya?”
“So do you carry any wacky tobacky?”
“Sir, I sell ice cream exclusively.”
“Oh that’s cool. What about some booger sugar, if you know what I mean?”
“I promise you sir, I ONLY sell ice cream.”
“Damn. Well what about porno mags? Carry any Penthouses?”
“No! Now do you want any ice cream or not?!”
“Don’t get testy with me, sir! Back in my day, ice cream trucks carried loads of contraband! No one bought ice cream from them! What the hell has happened to this country?! I’m a 57 year old man that was in Vietnam! I went there for a week to buy some knock off Jordans! You young people will never understand the struggles we went through in the 90s! They never should have let Bush in the White House!”
The ice cream man threw up his hands, shut off the Scott Joplin music, then sped out of the neighborhood.
Fuckin kids these days, smh 🤦♂️
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