“That’s why they sent me to this seminar: so that I could be a “team player” by never “asking questions,” explained Janet Young, CFO of Pissrock LTD. “I had no idea that our company was a money laundering operation for the CIA. Oh well. You live and learn. So why are you here?”
“I fucked my publisher’s wife,” replied Darrel.
“Oh.”
The large auditorium was filled with bean counters, attorneys, doctors, and various captains of industry. Darrel presumed himself to be the only “artist” in attendance. The rest were pissants, vultures, and grifters. But not him. No sir. He had actual talent.
Darrel picked his nose and passed gas as guests piling in. He was ready to have these three days over with so that he could return to the real world of booze and revelry (and to fuck his boss’s wife). Finally the auditorium was full. Large men in cutoff sleeves closed the doors and crossed their arms. The room fell silent.
Minutes later, a small balding man in a tweed jacket strolled down the center aisle and approached the stage. He climbed up the stairs, placed his hands behind his back, and with a slight smile he gazed at the audience silently. This went on for several minutes.
Finally the man spoke. “We’re born. We grow. Then we die,” he said. “Some of the most talented people in America are in attendance today. And many of us will be dead in 20 years. Most of us will never remember you.”
The silence persisted for another minute before he spoke again. “Today we are in the growth stage of our lives,” the speaker stated as he paced back and forth. “So we have a choice: face your fears and continue your growth…OR hasten your journey to the final stage of your life: death.”
Then the speaker walked back down the stage steps and, still facing the crowd, he extended his arms and gave a big smile. “I’m Paul Westinghouse,” he proclaimed, “and I’ll be your guide on this voyage of self discovery.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
The Internet Ruined Everything 